Page 25 of One Hundred Lights
“Well.” Britt breaks the kiss and hops off my lap, careful not to look down at my bare chest. “I’ll grab you a coffee to go while you get dressed.”
Then she disappears back out of her room, leaving both my lap and my heart chilled.
11
BRITT
Standing in my kitchen at the window, watching as Adrian backs out of my driveway, reality shifts. Was I drunk last night? Nope. I didn’t have an adult beverage before the school dance, nor during, and only a few sips of wine when we got home. I was decidedly sober. Did Adrian and I have sex three times before collapsing in my bed, snuggled up together like it was the most natural thing in the world?
Yup. That one hundred percent happened. It felt perfect. Meant to be.
I drain my coffee mug and place it in the sink. He’s gone from sight now, and I know what I have to do.
Last night was a fantasy.
Not just the sex. No, it was when Adrian looked at me like I washisfantasy. Even this morning, when he pulled me onto his lap, a sheet the only thing covering his evident desire for me.
The look on his face wasn’t only that. It was more.
I woke up at five o’clock this morning, desperate for water, so I padded down to the kitchen and filled a glass. That’s when I saw it. I’d left a spot in my Christmas card collage empty. Every year, I display holiday cards on my pantry door and clipped to strings on one wall in my kitchen. I always put Reese and Adrian’s card front and center, eye level, so every time I open the pantry, it’s their faces I see. Their gorgeous family that has come to mean so much to me.
But this year, a card from them never came.
It was my little punishment to myself, leaving that space there. I didn’t expect Reese to send me a Christmas card. But that empty spot is a reminder that there’s still hope. Maybe I could win her back, get the friendship I so desperately need, the one I so disastrously messed up. Am still messing up.
Last night, I was able to convince myself it was only a one-night stand with Adrian, but in the light of day, I know that’s not true. The look on his face was something more.
How can I make amends with Reese after seeing him look at me like that?
And how can I be with Adrian with Reese’s disapproval?
The only way to make this work is to get permission from the person least likely to give it to me.
I text Laura.
Me
Is going to talk to Reese a terrible idea?
Laura
Um. Why would you do that?
Me
I... spent the night with Adrian last night
Laura
Holy shit! Please don’t go tell his ex-wife this
Me
I can’t do this thing—whatever it is with Adrian—without talking to her. I need to apologize for what happened... for not being there for her. I don’t intend to mention last night
Laura
I don’t think this is a good idea. I can’t imagine she’ll give you permission to be with her ex-husband. Or forgiveness
