Page 128 of Since We're Here
“You deserve more than that.” Maddie steps forward and grabs my balled hands, entwining her fingers with mine.
The warmth of her hands. The electricity running between our bodies. I missed this. I missed her.
Miss her.
“But you. You were dangerous.” My voice is raspy. I clear my throat. “Deep down I knew it right away. I fought it. When you kissed me that night at the pub?—”
“Which time?” Her mouth quirks.
I squeeze her hands. “Both times, really, but definitely the second time. When Cara was there. That was the beginning of me truly healing. And when Cara came to talk to me at the brewery? That was the closure I needed. It took me a while to realize it. And by then, you were already gone.”
“I shouldn’t have run like that.” Her forehead creases, and she bites her bottom lip before continuing. “I proved that I’m too impulsive, that I don’t give things a chance to work out. I should’ve stayed and talked to you.”
“Luckily, you’re here now. You’ve made me realize that I could miss out on someone like you by continuing to hold on to the hurt from my past.”
“When did you realize that?”
“Just now, actually.”
She laughs.
“Maddie.” I drop one of her hands and touch her cheek with the back of my finger, caressing her soft skin, letting my touch slide down along her hair, the orange light of the sunset reflecting on the dark strands. “You make me feel like I’m worth... something.”
I almost said loving. But I can’t imagine she loves me.
“You’ve changed everything in me since you showed up and pulled me against the wall in that dark hallway.”
She laughs, a light, airy sound, and her eyes are wide and bright.
“Maddie, you’re perfect as you are.”
She shakes her head. “Definitely not perfect.”
“To me, you are.” I push her hair back from where it flies in front of her face. “For me. You brought the light back into my life. You made me understand that I can’t only live for my parents, my sister, my nieces, the business. I need joy for myself.” There’s a bursting inside of me as I understand all the truths I’m voicing.
“I feel like I just mess things up for you, Patrick. Things have gone better since I left. You got that deal with Wellington, right? And released the IPA? I heard you talking to Oliver and Ethan about it. I’m happy for you.” The spot between her eyebrows crinkles and I want to wipe the worry from her face. From her life.
“Never better without you.” I catch her hair again and she huffs out a laugh, smiling. I love seeing her like this. Wild and free and happy.
“Really?”
I let her hair go and cup her jaw with my hand. It’s so personal, so intimate, but she leans into my palm and sighs.
“I could’ve used not having to speed to the hospital after you almost took down a flock of sheep, that’s true.”
“Sorry about that.” She barely suppresses a smile.
“I know you came here for a break from your life. So you could heal from your breakup with the arsehole from Ohio before starting over back home.”
“Yeah. All true.” Her face is now serious, following my words carefully.
“And dropping out of the program made you feel like you were letting your family down. But I bet they weren’t mad when you told them.”
“No. They weren’t.”
“You bring joy and light wherever you go. Whoever you are around will be so very lucky.”
“Whoever, huh.” Her shoulders sag and she closes her eyes.
