Page 126 of Since We're Here
“I’m sorry?—”
Stella appears next to her, hands on her hips, shaking her head. “Really, Reese? You couldn’t have given us a heads up?”
Yes. I’m thankful Stella agrees.
“After all your speeches about me being honest with you,” I say. “And you hid this?”
Reese drops her arms and sighs deeply, fluttering her eyes shut.
“I kept chickening out. I feel like I’m abandoning our family. Leaving Mom behind, and Chelsea, even though she’ll be at college. And you, Maddie. What are we going to do about you?”
A tornado of feelings whips up inside me. It’s jarring to see my confident, settled sister so uncertain.
“I’ll figure it out.” I shrug, doing my best to project nonchalance.
“But—”
“I’m happy for you, Reese.” I cut her off. “For you and Oliver and Chelsea.”
It’s my life, and I gotta figure it out on my own. Without the help of my sisters.
She opens her arms and we all hug in a tight circle, heads down, sniffling. When we finally pull away, they’re both smiling, but I don’t feel like it. Nothing changes for Stella except having a sister on the same continent. And Reese is making all the exciting changes. The right ones for her family. She’s got her daughter and Oliver and Lucas to guide her decisions.
I’ve got no one.
“I need a minute.” I force a smile and duck into the bathroom, leaving my sisters in the hallway.
I lean against the cold, tiled wall and close my eyes.
Why does everyone else get to rewrite the rules of love and life, but I feel all this pressure to conform? Reese and Oliver were an impossible situation. More so even than me and Patrick. They both had children to think about, one on each side of the Atlantic Ocean. Yet here they are, planning their wedding and a huge move, so fucking happy and in love. They’re making it work.
Why is this thing between me and Patrick so impossible, then?
I want him more than I did when I was staying at his cottage, when he rubbed suds of soap into my skin, snuggled with me on his couch, introduced me to Turtle and Kitty, kissed me like I was the only woman on the planet.
I don’t want to run away. I don’t want to get on a plane and only see him once more at the wedding.
I wish I were more like Patrick. He’s got such deep-set roots in Dingle. His parents, Saoirse and Niamh and Erin, his cozy cottage, O’Brien’s, and Slea Head. His sheep.
He belongs to Dingle. He’s not mine to have.
But maybe I owe it to myself to talk to him about everything, before the road trip and wedding are over and we never see each other again.
35
PATRICK
Thursday, 24 April
My heart pounds as I stand on the edge of the Cliffs of Moher, staring out into the endless sea all the way to the Aran Islands off the western coast of Ireland, the dramatic cliffs in front of me dropping off into the Atlantic Ocean. While the Cliffs of Moher attract many tourists with its admission fees, paved pathways, stone safety fencing, and huge visitor center, it is truly breathtaking.
Oliver and Reese are wrapped around each other a few meters away, and Ethan and Stella are taking a selfie with the background of the sun beginning to set. Maddie’s somewhere on the other side of them, the two of us sad slices of bread to a sandwich of happiness.
This is possibly the most romantic spot on earth. A marked contrast to footgolf, our activity in Galway earlier today. And this time, my heart’s not pounding because of a competitive game of golf with soccer balls, but because of what I’m about to do.
This is the place where I will tell Maddie I’m in love with her. It’s the perfect location, wild and beautiful, just like she is. I told Oliver my plan, and he’s going to make sure I get her alone.
Is confessing my love for her now the best idea, since there’s no escaping each other for another three days?
