Page 108 of Since We're Here
“But I swear it was a coincidence that I rented the flat above his pub... and happened to kiss him that first night. I had no idea it was him. I just wanted to make out with a sexy Irish dude.”
“It’s a story for the grandkids, that’s for sure.” She waves her spoon at me.
“There will be no grandkids. It’s totally over.”
Stella drops her utensil in the mostly empty bowl. “Do you really think so?”
“Yeah, I do.” I showed up in London this morning with my giant suitcase and stuffed backpack. I left nothing behind. “It’s no big deal. This was definitely just a holiday fling.” I choke out those last words, my heart screaming at me for lying to Stella.
My sister stares at me, assessing. “Why don’t I invite some of Ethan’s rugby buddies to hang out with us this weekend?”
I can’t help the wince.
“You don’t want to meet hot rugby players.”
“It’s too soon.” Standing, I stack our bowls and head to the kitchen, running water over the dishes. “Patrick is so cute, Stella, you have no idea,” I say over my shoulder.
“Uh-huh.”
I don’t have to look at her to know she’s waiting expectantly for more information. I turn and wipe my hands on a dish towel,nodding toward her comfy couch. She follows me over with the wine glasses. I grab the dwindling bottle and we settle down next to each other.
“I’m just not ready to go make out with some other guy, okay?”
After a pause, she says, “Sure.”
But the look Stella gives me tells me she has a lot more to say on the topic. I’m thankful she bites her tongue. For now.
“You think Reese’ll forgive me?”
“Forgive you?” Stella downs the rest of her wine and refills her own glass, then mine, finishing the bottle. “Girl, you are a thirty-three-year-old woman. You should not be concerned if your older sisters approve of the life choices you are making. Choices that aren’t hurting a soul in this world.”
“I guess.”
“And what about Mom? Are you worried about what she’ll think?”
“Nah. She always just wants me to be happy.”
“And this is making you happy?”
“More like the hospitality program was making meunhappy.” I sip my wine, appreciating how it’s relaxing my body inch by inch.
Being in Ireland was something I didn’t know my soul needed. The rain and the cold and the gray clouds were so far from the expectations and perceived judgments I’ve been so afraid of. But now...notbeing there is what I need.
I think.
“Say more on that, Mads.”
“I’m not meant for school.” I pull my hair over a shoulder with one of my hands. “Or getting a degree. Reese worked her ass off to finish her bachelor’s when Chelsea was a baby. And you have a fancy MBA. But that’s just not me.”
“And that is okay.”
“Is it?”
“Yes! Come on, Maddie. You can make your own decisions. Fuck everyone else. Including me and Reese.” Stella tucks one of her legs underneath her and turns to me, brow furrowed earnestly, wine still in hand.
“I’ve supported myself with all my restaurant jobs,” I say.
“You have. You’ve paid your bills, bought a car—which is presumably parked in Reese’s driveway?—and created a life. It’s not the life that Reese or I have chosen, but look how different she and I are. And no one’s criticizingourchoices. Not really, anyway.”
