Page 106 of Since We're Here
But he doesn’t finish the sentence.
“We don’t know each other. Not really.”
“We know enough.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not interested in a relationship.” His voice is low, and he glances around, making sure no one is within earshot. “Not with you. Not with anyone.”
I flinch.Ouch.
“You want me to go?” I look pointedly at the entrance to the pub. “You don’t want to be with me?”
Patrick doesn’t respond. Just stares.
I push back my chair. Shame fills me, boiling out from my center and scalding every crevice of my body.
“So I should leave. I’m done at O’Brien’s? Done with you?” My voice is too loud, too shaky. I stand, waiting for him to reach out, to say something,anything. “If I leave now, I’m not coming back.”
Why did I say that? I don’t mean it. Won’t he stop me? He won’t let me walk out of O’Brien’s and out of his life.Will he?
Patrick moves his head in a slight nod. A humiliating sob escapes my throat, and that spot under his right eye twitches again.
“Well fuck you, Patrick McNulty. Just fuck you.”
I spin and walk away, grabbing my purse from behind the bar and ignoring Ronan’s wide eyes as I stomp out the door. My heart shatters in a million pieces as I emerge onto Main Street, pivoting to my flat and sprinting up the stairs.
My chest squeezes and my breath is short as I slam the door behind me and rest my back against it.
I can’t believe that just happened.
“This is bullshit,” I say to the empty, hot flat. Flaming hot. I hate this place.
I gotta get out of Dingle.
I told him if I walked out, I wasn’t coming back. Ididmean it.
I pull my giant suitcase from the second bedroom into the bigger one and yank open all the drawers, tossing my clothes in haphazardly. I empty the closet, swipe all my toiletries into a plastic bag. Shove my books and odds and ends into my backpack. Open the fridge, pour the creamer down the drain, fill the trash.
When the flat is completely packed up, I crack open my laptop and book a flight to London.
Then I leave Dingle.
28
MADDIE
Thursday, March 27
Boyfriend Disaster #9: Noah the Heartbreaker
Job Location & Length: Terra Toscana, 2 years
My Age: 32
After one year at Terra Toscana, I was finally promoted to manager.
Noah started shortly after my promotion. He was getting his master’s degree in global sports management and working on the side to help pay bills. He had the most delicious Australian accent. He’d traveled to thirty countries, was six foot four inches, and looked at me with light green eyes like I was the only person in the room. We became close friends. I had it under control. I was a manager now. I hadn’t forgotten the way things went down with Paul. Surely, in my ninth job since dropping out of college, I wouldn’t fall for this hot Australian?
I knew it was a mistake the first time we kissed after meeting up at a bar on our night off. He told me he wasn’tlooking for anything serious. That we were friends. He made sure I understood—I nodded like I agreed.
