Page 121 of Since We're Here
Now we’re at the Dark Hedges, a remote avenue of two-hundred-year-old beech trees that are interconnected at the top and were filmed in a popular fantasy series.
Thick fog sits on the road, making visibility low and giving the tall trees a horror-film type feel. My sisters and I are standing together, watching the spot in the fog where the men disappeared a moment ago.
“This is so creepy,” Stella says.
“So creepy,” Reese agrees.
We stand in silence for a moment and then Reese grabs my hand.
“You okay, Mads?” She squeezes.
“What do you mean?” I turn to her.
“There is so much tension between you and Patrick.”
“Is there? I hadn’t noticed.”
Both of my sisters turn to stare at me, and we all burst into laughter. The giggles taper down, and they watch me expectantly.
I sigh deeply.
“I love him. I can’t be normal around him. Not even close.”
Reese’s jaw drops. “Mads. I didn’t know. I mean, I knew what you told me... but not that you love him.” She drops my hand and drapes her arm around my shoulder, which is at the same exact height as hers, and pulls me closer.
“Yeah. I was hoping if I didn’t say it out loud again, it would no longer be true.”
“Did that work?” Reese leans her head against mine.
“Nope.”
“Sorry, Maddie.” Stella wraps her arms around me and Reese.
“Thank you so much for planning this whole trip,” Reese whispers into my ear. “Even the weird shit you added on.”
I bite back a smile and lean back to search Reese’s face. We all drop our arms but stay close.
“I’m just glad you’re not still mad at me.”
Stella groans. “Maddie, what did we talk about?”
“Something about how I shouldn’t live to impress my older sisters? That I’m an adult who can make my own life choices?”
“You got it!” Stella sings.
Reese wraps me into a second full body hug, and I melt in her arms.
“I’m so sorry if I made you feel that way. Like what you’re doing is not good enough.” She pulls back and glances at Stella.
“It’s okay.” My throat tightens.
“And I’m glad you talked to Stella. Thank goodness she was so close. I worry about you.”
I’m so relieved everything is out in the open with them now, but it was all part of the process. I figured out a few things about myself in the three weeks since Patrick and I broke up.
Maybe it was the endless days wandering around London in and out of pubs, restaurants, and cafés, where I had to hold myself back from asking if they were hiring or making suggestions on ways to improve their businesses.
I’m a hard worker. I’m good at food retail. And I have even more to offer my next job.
