Page 71 of Unless It's You
She tilts her head and hides a small smile, pulling her hands from mine and crossing her arms. “I was hoping it’d be you.”
I pull her in for a hug and kiss the top of her head. She keeps her arms against her body but otherwise melts into me.
“Who’s this girl then? And where is she?”
“Come sit, Helen. Want a cuppa?” I know my old friend, and she’ll want tea.
“Yeah, sure, I guess.” Helen kicks off her sandals and skips over to my couch. I guess we’re still friends. Good. I need more friends.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” I fish the kettle out of the low cabinet next to my stove and fill it with water from the sink. “We work together. She’s—” I freeze and stare miserably at the kettle, heating up next to Stella’s empty wine glass.
“She’s what?”
I almost saidBen’s ex-girlfriend.
“Out of my league,” I say instead.
Helen scoffs. “Unlikely. You’re a fucking snack, Ethan.”
I grin and grab two mugs from the cabinet. I’m more of a coffee guy, but I’ll have tea to bond with Helen.
An hour later, Helen gathers her things, claiming she has a friend she’s going to visit and stay with tonight. Her mum’s watching Henry, and Helen had a backup plan in case she didn’t end up here.
“Come see us sometime again, yeah?” She stands at my door, mobile in hand, tapping away.
“Absolutely.” Guess she’s over me already. She spent the last hour trying to convince me I’m worthy of love and should go after Stella. I never named her—that felt too weird—especially with the connection Helen has to Ben.
I let the door click shut behind her. I know what I need to do.I’m going to go to Stella tonight. I know where and when she’s meeting Ben, and as this is bucket list related, she’ll need to document it for the lawyer’s approval. I trust her. I’ll be there for her, getting what she needs from a distance, and then I’ll slip out and text her to come meet me.
And when it’s over? No more secrets, no more holding back. I’ll tell her I’m hers, completely and absolutely.
29
STELLA
BUCKET LIST DAY 20
I’m meeting Ben in an hour. I need to make sure I get this right, so I open the bucket list document on my phone and scroll to the last one.
5. Find the One that Got Away
Nausea rolls over me as I read, just like it did the first time I saw it. Evelyn wasn’t messing around when she made this list. She must’ve known I’d hate this one. But the difference is, she wanted to tell her ownone that got awayabout how wrong she had been, how she shouldn’t have held back, how she should have accepted his proposal, no matter how scared.
But I don’t feel that way about Ben. Was it my fault for not opening myself up to him more when we were together? Did I not give our relationship the chance it deserved? Shit, I don’t know. Maybe. Am I sure having broken up with Ben isn’t a mistake I’ll regret in fifty years?
Well,yeah. Probably.
I keep scrolling, reading the requirements for number five again:talk to someone else about it. Get it straight in your head.That, plus theevidence requirement. I saved the email I sent Gemma about why Ben and I didn’t work together, and the evidence requirement is why I asked her to come along and document me with Ben. She just got back from her trip with Cercei yesterday, and we havesomuch to catch up on once this is all done.
Even though I’m close to walking out the door, I consider texting Ethan. It’s my last chance to come clean before everything happens tonight. Instead, one pops up from Gemma.
Gemma
Ready for this?
Me
No, definitely not
