Page 56 of Unless It's You
I need this man’s help. And... I want it. Maybe I’ve been thinking about Evelyn’s bucket list wrong all along. Maybe it’s not that she’s projecting her own regrets on me, but truly trying to help me avoid my own, in the only way she knows possible. Through the lens of her own life.
And maybe it’s easier to write a list for someone else than it is for yourself.
OH.
“Hey.” I bolt up straight on the couch and Ethan opens his eyes and turns his head. “I have a thought.”
“Is it about how you could do the Reese one better? Because planning a hen do isn’t exactly an impressive way to help your sister, Hart.”
“What? You don’t like that?” I roll my eyes. “I legitimately think it’s fine.”
The corners of his eyes crinkle with a smile right under the surface.
“We could do better.”
“Hush now.” I bite back a grin. “Here’s my idea. Why don’t we write a bucket list foryouand pretend it’s from your mom?”
His jaw tightens and the smile lines smooth out. My stomach squeezes like an over-tightened screw splitting wood. Maybe this was exactly the wrong thing to suggest.
“Stella,” he says, but doesn’t continue. I could live forever hearing him say my name.
“Hear me out. I was thinking that a few of the items on my listwere predictable. Aunt Evelyn loved her cat, Simba. And volunteering at the hospital.”
His continued silence is killing me. I keep talking.
“I think we could do this. We could start with an easy one. Like, I dunno, at some point your mom thought it was a good idea to take you to Skye to hike. We could make one of them something like:Hike the Highest Peaks in the UK as a Tribute to Your Mom. It’ll be a way to remember the good parts of her.”
I cannot read Ethan’s blank expression, but if I had to guess, I’d say I’m completely striking out.
Finally, thankfully, he speaks, saving me from continuing to overstep.
“She wasn’t a thoughtful person,” he says, face stony. “At least, when it came to me. She probably got lost that day and ended up with me on Skye.”
I tilt my head. “From what I’ve seen online, I’m not sure that’s how getting to Skye works. But even if that is true... it could beyourlist, with the best parts of your mom as inspiration. Or who you wanted your mom to be, I guess.”
I’m grasping at straws. Rambling. Digging a hole for myself. I should just leave. I glance at the door and keep my eyes locked on the escape route. What did I even come here for? To kiss Ethan again? Because I’m so easily enamored by a man who changed an entire commercial shoot location so that I could check off a bucket list item from my beloved late great-aunt?
That sounds pretty amazing, actually.
And now I’m babbling like some kind of idiot, and he’s not impressed. Not into it. Not intome. I can’t even bring myself to look at him again. But I also can’t leave. I can’t walk out of here and away from the man who is forcing me to be true to myself. Not yet. Not like I did last week. Not until I know what’s going on in his gorgeous head.
“Stella, look at me, please.” Ethan’s voice is scratchy, full of some kind of emotion. It’s too much. The name again. How is itthat hearing Ethan say my name has such an effect on me? Am I that easy?
I don’t look at him. I can’t. But a second later, his fingers brush my chin and gently turn it in his direction. He’s so close now, sweet baby Jesus, and now my heart’s taken off like it’s starting a hundred-meter race, and he must be able to hear it beating from the center of my chest.
Our eyes meet. I don’t know what he’s thinking or feeling, but it’s something. It’s something big. I focus on the sensation of his fingers on my chin, fingers that haven’t broken contact. Breath gone, there’s a pulse in my core that matches my pounding heart.
“Can I kiss you, Stella?”
23
STELLA
Ihate myself for not kissing him immediately, but before I let myself fall into him, I need to know about Helen. His ex, or maybe not ex, the one who has gotten in the way of us twice already.
“Ethan?” We’re inches away, and his finger drops from under my chin.
“Yes?”
