Page 82 of Unless It's You
Istand in the hallway leading to Mum’s flat. But this time, I’m not frozen with the key burning a hole in my pocket, hovering pathetically outside the door. This time, the flat door is propped wide open and a whole crew of people are hard at work inside. I can’t bring myself to enter.
Thanks to Stella, I don’t have to.
The head bloke in expensive-looking jeans and a polo shirt emerges from the flat, where he’s been packing items up in the kitchen. Twenty minutes ago, five of them walked in with arms full of collapsed boxes and other supplies. The sounds of tape dispensing and cardboard being assembled drift out into the hallway, and three of the men have moved further back into the flat to Mum’s bedroom and the small room that used to be mine.
“Should take us two or three hours, max.”
I nod. I should thank him, say something, say anything, but it turns out I’m not okay, even though I don’t have to be in there.
“I’m Scott. Friends with Gemma and Stella, so they let me know what you’ve gone through. Sorry for your loss, mate.”
“Thank you,” I finally manage to say. I ignore the squeeze at my center at the mention of her name.
Stella.I wish she were here with me right now. I know all the reasons why I didn’t let her come, but I’ve had to remind myself of them again and again since I walked away from her on Saturday night. Since I dismissed her on Sunday.
No, I’d said.Best I do it alone.
Fuck Sunday me. Alone is the worst way to be. Alone is how I felt growing up in this damn flat.
A dozen times, I’d picked up my mobile to text her. Wanted to show up at her flat. Wantedher to show up at mine.
But because of Ben, I can’t do any of that. I clench my fists at my sides. First, because I owe him and his parents everything. And second, because she’d chosen me second once before. And she did it again on Saturday night. If I let down my guard, it would happen again. I can’t let someone close to me like that. It was almost disastrous.
Scott stares, probably waiting for me to say more. “Well. We’re planning to donate most things and dispose of what the charities won’t take.” He pauses and I attempt to relax my shoulders, unclench my jaw.
“Great.”
“Do you want to come in at all? Or is there anything you want us to set aside?” He says it kindly, but with curiosity. I wonder what Stella told him about this situation.
But come in? Christ, no. I’m not sure my feet would listen to me if I commanded them to move forward. I take a step backward, away from Scott, away from the flat.
“Ethan,” a woman’s voice calls from behind me.
I spin around.
Stella stands in the hallway.
My heart pounds, and I already feel more alive, less like a wordless statue.What is she doing here?But the vision of her—in a black hoodie and worn jeans, blond hair standing out against thedark top, looking like she belongs cuddled into my side on a couch, not in this godforsaken hallway—awakens something inside me. Something that has felt dead since Saturday night when I watched her kiss Ben.
“Hey, Scott,” she says.
“Hi, Stella.” Scott brushes past me and gives Stella a friendly hug. “Good to see you. How’ve you been?”
“Fine. I’m just here to make sure things go smoothly.”
Scott laughs. “I’ll leave you to it, but I promise we’re not going to bugger it up.” He steps into the flat and turns back to me for a beat. “Let me know if there’s anything you want us to grab for you.”
Once he’s gone, Stella takes a cautious step toward me.
My tongue is tied in knots and all I can do is stare at her.
“I know you told me not to come. But I couldn’t let you face this alone. You’re a good person, and you deserve to have people in your life who support you during shit times. Like these.”
Oh. Fuck me.I lift my shoulders and bury my hands in the front pocket of my England Rugby hoodie.
“Thank you,” is all I manage to say.
“Come on, want to go in?”
