Page 74 of Unless It's You
Still, a shadow of a thought is forming in my brain, even as his proximity distracts me and chases the revelation—so close—away.
I examine his handsome face, noticing the slight crow’s feet forming in the corners of his eyes that make him look more charming than ever. He will marry someone beautiful and have delightful children and the exact life he’s dreaming of. I know it.
“I think we had something special.” Ben touches my thigh gently. I hardly register he’s done it. “I’ve learned a lot in the six months we’ve been apart. I dated a few girls... but they weren’t you, Stella.”
The fleeting thought from before comes back, landing firmly in my mind.Find the One That Got Away.
“Can I kiss you, Stella?”
I’m so wrapped up in my almost-revelation that I barely hear the words, and by the time they process, it’s too late.
My eyes widen, locked with his, and then he’s leaning forward and cupping my cheek with one of his hands, pulling me gently into a kiss. It’s so surprising that I’m unable to pull away instantly.I have just enough time to think about how it feels, the sensation of our mouths locked.
Like when our hands touched, I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.
And now I know for sure: Ben’s not the one that got away.
Ethan is.
30
ETHAN
Ican’t breathe.
There’s nothing inside me. No heart beating, no lungs pumping, nothing to prove I’m alive. It’s like the feeling right after getting slammed to the ground from a tackle, when the life is pushed out of my body.
“Are theykissing?” Gemma says, bouncing lightly next to me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Gemma swing her head toward mine, then glance back at Stella and Ben, who are, indeed, kissing.
NowI might understand the look on Gemma’s face when I walked in ten minutes ago and stationed myself next to her in the nook of the bar by the restrooms, mostly hidden by groups of people, but with a clear enough view of Ben and Stella. Her face was part-horrified, part-delighted.
I’d explained to Gemma that I was here to help. No, Stella doesn’t know I know. Ben told me. I’m here as her advisor to document the bucket list item completion.
I didn’t tell Gemma the real reason I’m here, which is that I’m madly in love with Stella and always have been.
But now I know. Gemma thought it was a mistake for me toshow up uninvited. Because what feels like a lifetime later, Ben and Stella are still connected by their lips. Ben’s got his hand on her face, cupping her jaw just like I did last night.
I finally breathe, then growl and close my eyes, lowering my mobile, with which I was recording them. It’s on video. I’ve got the betrayal on video.
I need to ground myself, then get the fuck out of here. But at this moment, I’m afraid if I move toward the door, I’ll mow people down like a raging hulk.
I was an arsehole to let myself fall for Stella.
I knew why I shouldn’t do it. It’s the same reason I avoided her when she dated Ben—except for that one night I helped her into her flat after he abandoned her. I’d wanted to curl up next to her that night, or even sleep on her couch, to make sure she knew she was safe and cared for. But it wasn’t appropriate.
Because Stella is Ben’s. Even though Isawher first, andkissedher first, she was Ben’s even before they met.
“Ethan, I don’t think that is what you think it is.” Gemma places her hand on my forearm. I open my eyes and look down at her.
“I think it’s exactly what I think it is.”
Gemma swears softly, keeping eye contact with me, and says under her breath, “I should have told her you were here right away.”
It’s better this way. Now I know. There’s a reason why she didn’t tell me about meeting Ben tonight. Because she wasn’t sure what would happen. She wasn’t sure who she’d choose. She was so unsure about me that she needed to kiss him to figure it out. Or maybe she was sure, and I was just some loser she’d string along until we’ve checked everything off the list.
“Stella,” Gemma says, her hand moving off my arm.
