Page 54 of Unless It's You
But I am. I know it.
I will myself to look over to him, terrified of what I’ll see. The expression on his face blows me away. His stare is so intense I feel it in my toes, andfor fuck’s sake—his lips are parted slightly, his eyes wide, and he’s breathing deeply, just like I am.
“Ethan.” But there’s a lump in my throat and I have to stop speaking or I’m certain I’ll cry.
“Don’t think I did that only for you.” He leans forward and his face is soft and open.
My stomach drops like a two-story dip on a rollercoaster that feels awful at the same time as exhilarating. I concentrate on relaxing my body, pushing my shoulders down and trying to dissipate the feeling of vertigo.
“You didn’t? Then... Why?” My throat is dry. Where’s my coffee?
Ethan stares at me, his brown eyes burning through mine, pulling me into his deep sea. He cocks his head to the side.
“Fine. Shooting in Skye waspartiallyabout you. And your aunt Evelyn’s bucket list.” He pauses, and a corner of his mouth twitches. “Maybe even mostly.”
I note the easy way my great-aunt’s name comes out of his mouth. Like he knew her.
“I have one good memory with my mum from my childhood, and it happens to have taken place on the Isle of Skye.” He swallows. “So I was thinking this would be good for me, too.”
“Can you tell me about it?” I want to know more about Ethan Fraser. I want to get in his head, in his heart, see more of what made him who he is.
“I was ten. She was sober for the first time in my memory. Told me we were starting over. Things would be different. She held my hand as we climbed, and when I got to the top—alone, because she’d gotten too tired—I truly believed things would change.”
He looks down, his face falling.
“But things didn’t change.”
“No. They didn’t.”
The room is quiet for a heavy moment.
“I’m so glad we’re going to Skye. Thank you.”
Ethan looks destitute in the dark memories of his childhood.
“Hey,” I say, and he looks up at me. “I emailed that classmate of mine who owns the moving and packing company. He said he’d be happy to help with your mom’s flat.”
“I...” Ethan’s face crinkles, and I can’t tell if he’s upset or mad or just going through a whole spectrum of emotions.
“He offered to take care of it next Wednesday. They have an early move in the area, then he can head to your mom’s flat. You can go to Skye right from there for the shoot.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think I can...” Ethan moves his head from side to side.
“I meantwecan go to Skye for the shoot from there. I’ll come to Newcastle, too, okay? I’ll help you get through it.”
“Stella . . .”
I bite my lip and smile. “And since when do you call me Stella?” The world lazily exists around us, and it doesn’t feel like we’re at the Pepper Me Marketing offices.
Ethan blinks a hundred times, as if he’s just realizing he’d started calling me by my first name. He shuts his laptop and leans forward. There’s a whole damn conference table between us, and I wish it would disappear.
Actually, we should get out of here. I need air, space... Ethan.
“Can I come see Nessie again?” I blurt. There’s something between us. I need to find out what’s going on, no interruptions, no running away.
Ethan half-laughs and looks back at me, raising his eyebrows. “You’re considering adopting her?”
“Woah, woah.” I wave my hands and smile, the absurdity of it all instantly diffusing some of the tension in the air. “I didn’t say adopt. You mentioned I could take her home and foster her?”
