Page 55 of The Tattooist of Auschwitz
•
Baretski enters the women’s camp as they are lining up for dinner. Cilka sees him approach the kapo and then point at Gita. The kapo beckons Gita with her finger. Cilka draws Dana in close as Gita slowly walks over to Baretski. They cannot hear what he says, but his message causes Gita to cover her face with her hands. She then turns towards her friends and runs back into their arms.
‘He’s alive! Lale is alive,’ she says. ‘He said I’m to tell you, Cilka, that he is in Block 31.’
‘Why me?’
‘I don’t know, but he said Lale had insisted I tell you.’
‘What canshedo?’ Dana asks.
Cilka looks away, her mind working feverishly.
‘I don’t know,’ says Gita, not in the mood to analyse. ‘I only know that he is alive.’
‘Cilka, what can you do? How can you help?’ Dana pleads.
‘I will think about it,’ says Cilka.
‘He’s alive. My love is alive,’ Gita repeats.
•
That night, Cilka lies in the arms of Schwarzhuber. She can tell he is not yet asleep. She opens her mouth to say something but is silenced by him retrieving his arm from underneath her.
‘Are you all right?’ she asks tentatively, fearing he will be suspicious of such an intimate question.
‘Yes.’
There is a softness in his voice she has not heard before and, emboldened, Cilka presses on. ‘I have never said no to you for anything, have I? And I’ve never asked you for anything before?’ she says tentatively.
‘That’s true,’ he responds.
‘Can I ask for one thing?’
•
Lale makes it through the next day. He does his bit, helping to carry one of the murdered men back. He hates himself for having thoughts only of the pain it causes him, with little compassion for the dead man.What is happening to me?Step by step the pain in his shoulders threatens to drag him down.Fight it, fight it.
As they enter the camp, Lale’s attention is caught by two people standing just beyond the fence that separates the prisoners from the staff quarters. The diminutive Cilka stands beside Lagerführer Schwarzhuber. A guard on Lale’s side of the fence is talking to them. Lale stops, slackening his grip on the corpse, which causes the prisoner holding the other end of the body to stumble and fall. Lale looks at Cilka, who peers back at him before saying something to Schwarzhuber. He nods and points to Lale. Cilka and Schwarzhuber walk away as the guard approaches Lale.
‘Come with me.’
Lale rests the legs he’s been carrying on the ground and looks for the first time at the dead man’s face. His compassion returns and he bows his head at this tragic end to yet another life. He gives an apologetic glance to the other man carrying the body and hurries to follow the guard. The other inmates of Block 31 all stare after him.
The guard tells Lale, ‘I’m instructed to take you to your old room in the Gypsy camp.’
‘I know the way.’
‘Suit yourself.’ The guard leaves him.
Lale stops outside the Gypsy camp, watching the children run around. Several of them look at him, trying to make sense of his return. The Tätowierer, they have been told, is dead. One of them runs to Lale, throwing his arms around his waist, hugging him tight, welcoming him ‘home’. The others join in, and before long adults are coming out of the block to greet him. ‘Where have you been?’ they ask. ‘Are you injured?’ He deflects all their questions.
Nadya is standing at the back of the group. Lale makes eye contact with her. Pushing his way through the men, women and children, he stops in front of her. With a finger he wipes a tear from her cheek. ‘It’s good to see you, Nadya.’
‘We’ve missed you. I’ve missed you.’
All Lale can do is nod. He needs to get away quickly before he breaks down in front of everyone. He rushes to his room, closes the door on the world and lies on his old bed.
