Page 55 of Earth Dragon
To be free.
But she was not running toward something, she was running away.
She furrowed her brow at the thought. Then turned back to the door as she suddenly knew exactly what she had to do. She had decided on a direction for herself, one where she could be useful to him.
It was time to fulfill it.
She entered the house and noted that whatever word had been in need of exchange had been said already. Lady Marigold fussed over serving Eric another bowl of soup while Ewan loitered by one of the bookshelves. He glanced at her when she entered, giving her the impression that he had been waiting for her.
He put the book he hadn’t been looking at back where it belonged as she approached him. “Forgive me, I did not mean to push,” he said. “Lady Marigold reminded me that perhaps I can sometimes forget myself and assume everyone—”
“Come with me,” Shannon interrupted, grabbing his hand and pulling him with her back to the front door, through it, out into the square.
“What the?” he asked when she pulled him all the way to the well.
She stopped, facing him, letting his hand go even though she’d rather have held onto it. She did not want to push herself on him, she did not want to distract him from the conversation she had to have with him.
“Why do you want to live in the countryside?” she asked. “Where did that dream come from?”
“I don’t know,” he said.
“And carpentry. When did you begin to learn?” she asked.
“When I was little...” He trailed off, clearly unsure of exactly what year and how he had gotten into it. “My mother built me the workshop for my fiftieth birthday.”
“But it’s a lie,” she said.
“What?”
“It’s your… escape. Because you’ve feared the moment of transference and what it will mean to be a crowned head. You began to tell yourself that you did not want it, but the truth is that you do.”
“Shannon.”
“No, it’s in how ready you are to fake falling in love with me to pass the trial,” she said. “You’re hiding your truth behind this lie that you don’t really want it. Can’t you see? You’re scared of failing at it.”
“No,” he said.
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m scared of dying like my mother,” he stopped her.
She stared at him, completely taken aback by that statement. He looked as shocked as she felt. He must never have put it into words before. Even to himself.
“I thought she died in an accident,” Shannon said.
“She did,” he confirmed. “A tragic, pointless accident. But then Malcolm almost died in an assassination attempt, as well as the rest of the crowned heads, and that fear of dying that I’d buried somewhere deep down it just… It was right there. And I had the thought in my head that I had to secure the kingdom. By the great mountains, I thought it was the right thing. How could I have been so… selfish?”
His eyes were wide with the realization.
“You weren’t,” she said.
“Of course, I was,” he disagreed. “I was going to redraw the maps. I was going to make everything more accessible so that people wouldn’t wish to leave. How could I have been so foolish? And I did not speak to my father because… I knew what he would say. He would tell me to grow up.”
He laughed then, leaning his head back and reaching his arms to the sky before letting them fall along his sides again. There was peace across his brow and a gleam in his eyes when he looked at her again. But the expression faltered as he grew thoughtful.
“Why did you think I feared failure?” he asked.
“Well, don’t you?” she asked. “Isn’t that what another life is all about?”
