Page 35 of Kaz
Miles grumbled under his breath, glaring when Kaz huffed out a short laugh.
“This is serious,” he grumbled.
Kaz’s eyes held a speck of amusement as he said, “I’m well aware, Sweetheart.”
Miles’s heart skipped a beat, his brain coming to a screeching halt at that word. That endearment. He’d said it last night, too, hadn’t he? It felt… intimate. It made everything feel more real, and he knew, if he gave the man his trust and he broke it again, hearing Kaz call him that would absolutely wreck him. He wouldn’t recover. He’d barely recovered last time, and now? There was so much more at stake for him. He’d been young and dumb then. He wasn’t now. His heart was longing to be Kaz’s, but he wasn’t sure he could give it to him. After everything, how could he trust Kaz with his heart again?
Kaz lowered his head, nudging Miles’s nose with his own before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.
“Let’s have breakfast,” Kaz said, his breath on Miles’s lips sending a shiver down his spine. “Then we can talk.”
Kaz stepped back, grabbing Miles’s hand to tug him toward the door, but he remained rooted to the floor. He pulled his hand free from Kaz’s grasp and, with his heart thundering in his chest, he met the man’s silver gaze.
“I was in love with you, and you threw us away,” he muttered, his words barely above a whisper.
Kaz flinched, eyes dropping to the floor.
“You were the first person I truly trusted for years. One week. That’s how long it took you to break that trust after I gave you everything. Every piece of me.”
“Miles,” Kaz started, taking a step closer.
Miles threw up his hands. “I don’t know what the hell kind of games you’re playing, but I want no part of it. I can’t?” His throat closed up, and he had to blink back tears. “I can’t risk trusting you again only to have you break me for good.”
Kaz took another step toward him, mouth opening to speak, but he couldn’t deal with it. He couldn’t do this.
He took off toward the door, but only made it three steps before he was jerked back around and pressed against Kaz’s body.
Hands cupped his face, forcing his gaze to Kaz’s.
“You scare me,” Kaz said, eyes searching Miles’s face. “It’s always scared me. How much I want you. How much I fuckingneedyou. From the first time we met.”
“Kaz…”
Hands moved from his face into his hair, to the back of his neck, fingers digging in and making his pulse jump.
“I was a scared kid, Miles. I never thought I’d feel even a tenth of what I feel for you. I… I know I’ve never deserved you. That’s why I let you go.”
He blinked at Kaz. “What do you mean?”
Kaz shook his head, the pain flashing through his eyes making Miles’s heart thump loudly in his chest.
“I was never with Jane. Not for one second. I just let you believe it when you jumped to conclusions, because I was afraid.”
Miles swayed from a bout of dizziness, his heart beating so hard and fast he thought it might beat right out of his chest.
“I’ve worked very fucking hard to be better. To be someone who could be worthy of you. I know I’m not there yet, but how the hell am I supposed to keep my hands off you? How am I supposed to stay away when you’re right here and so fucking eager for my touch?”
Breathing got harder with each word spilling from Kaz’s lips.
“I barely know what love is, Miles, but I’ve always loved you. Always. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, I’ve always been in love with you.”
“Kaz…”
He shook his head. He didn’t know what to say, and Kaz seemed to realize as much, a sad smile finding his lips.
“I don’t need you to say anything. I just need you to know the truth. I might not have cheated on you, but I did lie. I want toearnyour forgiveness. Your trust. I want another chance. That’s what all this has been about,” Kaz said, throwing his arms wide. “All of this is foryou, Miles.”
“I can’t?” He rubbed his chest, the rapid beat of his heart almost painful. “I don’t know.”
