Page 15 of My CEO Neighbor
"Can I ask you a question now?"she said.
"Okay."
"When was the last time you felt quiet?Like your brain could rest?"
Ted was silent for so long that Monica wondered if he was going to answer at all.
"I don't think I ever have," he said finally."Even as a kid, I was always thinking about the next thing, the next goal, the next way to prove I was worth something."
"To whom?"
"Everyone.My parents, my teachers, my peers.Myself, I guess."
Monica felt a recognition that went deeper than professional sympathy.She understood the exhaustion of constantly performing, constantly trying to prove your worth through achievement.
"Ted."
"Yeah?"
"You know you're already worthy, right?Not because of what you've accomplished or how much money you make or whether your company goes public.Just because you exist."
Another long silence.Then: "That's a nice thought."
"It's not a thought.It's true."
"How can you be so sure?"
Monica reached out in the darkness, found Ted's hand resting on his knee, and covered it with hers.She felt him go very still at the contact, felt the warmth of his skin beneath her palm.
"Because I can see you," she said."Even in the dark, I can see you."
His fingers closed around hers.The gesture was simple, but it sent heat racing up Monica's arm and settled somewhere low in her stomach.His hand was larger than hers, strong and warm, and she wondered what those fingers would feel like tracing her skin, mapping her body with careful attention.
When was the last time someone had held her hand with such gentle intensity?When was the last time she'd felt this kind of electric awareness from such simple contact?
They sat like that for a moment, hands linked in the darkness, both of them breathing carefully like they were afraid of breaking whatever fragile thing had formed between them.
Then Ted cleared his throat and pulled his hand away, leaving Monica's palm cold and empty.
"I'm always thinking," he said.
"I noticed."
"It's probably my most annoying quality."
"It's not even in the top five."
Ted laughed, a real laugh this time, and Monica felt warmth bloom in her chest.She'd made him laugh.More than that, she'd made him relax, made him breathe properly, made him admit things he probably didn't say out loud very often.
"What are the top five?"Ted asked.
"Are you sure you want to know?"
"Hit me."
Monica grinned in the darkness."Your conference calls at six in the morning.The way you rev your car engine before you drive away, like you're announcing your departure to the entire neighborhood.Your pathological relationship with your phone.And..."
"And?"
