Page 157 of The Princesses of Ruin
And I don’t deserve such goodness.
I’m a scalawag and a huntress. I fucked my way across the trade routes and never took one of them with me. Cold silence is my best companion. I was foolish to think I could keep him, but that fantasy is over.
“Millia,” Adrik moans, and his arm bands around my stomach.
I hold it there, soaking up the sensation of his skin on mine.
I want it, though.
I don’t deserve it, but Iwant it.
I want his skin on my skin, his smile for my jest, his shock when I surprise him, his furrowed brow when he’s focused. I want the beat of his heart, drumming like pure white splashes across my vision. I want the soft accent of his voice and the softer press of his lips against my neck.
I want him.
It’s not fair.
It’s not fair that I can’t keep him. That our lives are too different. That he’s such an accomplished alchemist, and I…
I just hunt beasts and claim lands. I draw maps and navigate the stars. I listen to the sea and move through the water. What use is that in the face of curing disease, enhancing and lengthening our lives, healing us? He’s so, so useful.
And I’m just a killer.
Brisha grunts, a silver ring rippling out from her face that dissipates into the room. I’ll be sad to leave her behind, too. But she needs her brother, not me.
Tomorrow, then.
I’ll leave tomorrow.
The sheets beside me are cold. I spread all the way out on the bed, letting my larger-than-average frame fill it up. Thank the gods beds here were made to fit larger men.
Where’s Adrik?
I look to the foot of the bed and see that Brisha and Yakshim are gone, too. Where could they be? Walking, probably. The pups piss everywhere, given the opportunity. Good man, taking the pups outside to piss.
Good man…
My heart lurches in my chest.
I stare at the ceiling, light plaster with little plant designs. There are wooden beams above that provide support that haven’t been covered, or maybe they were uncovered. The Bloodletter did some strange things. Pulled all the gold out of every fixture and melted it down. I wouldn’t put it past her to break plaster reliefs out of the ceiling and sell them as art to the Upper Kingdomites. I chuckle at the image of the sultry woman hocking a six-foot slab at the gates.
The thought fizzles away like bubbles disperse after a wave, leaving me with a cold reality I don’t want to face.
I’m leaving.
I’m leavinghim.
I’m leaving himtoday.
I push my legs over the side of the bed and reach for my trousers. I haven’t bathed since our escapades, but I won’t be seeking comfort in the next port…or the next. Doesn’t really matter how fresh my nethers are anymore, I suppose.
“Good morning, my huntress—oh, you’re awake!”
Adrik comes into the room with a tray loaded with food and potions. The puppies tumble in at his feet, and he stops in the doorway, his broad smile waning.
“What is it?” he asks, shoulders drooping.
Fuck, am I really that easy to read?
