Page 75 of Oh No! There's an Incubus in my Hot Spring
Just not enough to not to fuck my boyfriend.
—but I realize how worthless that is after what I’ve done. I’m sorry I’m rambling, I’m really not looking for absolution I just…I just want you to know that you’re fucking amazing and of course you know that, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
Bile sours the back of my throat.
She seems so much more genuine than Jason.
I should warn her. I don’t owe her anything, but I want to warn her.
Sylvia:I don’t forgive you, but Jason is here in Colorado trying to get to me. Wanted you to know in case he’s made some bullshit excuse.
I throw my phone down and wiggle back against Apollo.
He mumbles something happy and constricts around me. “How can I serve my witch this morning?”
I suck in a deep breath. “Hold me.”
His arms tighten on my ribs. “Anything else?”
“Make the last five years of my life disappear,” I whisper, hollow tears burning in my eyes.
“No, lovely. You can’t erase the past. It made you. It made you so beautiful, radiant, and strong.”
I swallow thickly and hold his arms on me.
“I know it hurt. I know you’re still hurting,” he says, nuzzling my neck. “Forward is the only way, and I’m here for you, for as long as you need me.”
I sniffle, my tears threatening to unleash. “What about your freedom?”
“I will stay as long as you need me. As long as you want me.” He kisses my neck, his lips soft on my sensitive skin. “I promise.”
Men have made promises before, but I believe Apollo. He has no reason to lie to me.
My throat is too tight. I can’t breathe.
“Sylvia,” he murmurs like a prayer and rolls me toward him. Face to face is so much worse. I curl in on myself and sobsovertake my body. I don’t want to cry, not like this and not in front of him. But it’s too late. I can’t stop.
Apollo’s arms band around my back and pull me flush against him.
We seal together and he hushes into my hair. “I have you. I swear. While I live, no more harm will come to you.”
I suck down a deep gasp and a loud sob wracks me.
Why am I like this?
Why can’t I justget over it?
“You’re so strong. You’re amazing,” he whispers to the crown of my head, echoing Alexis’s text, and it makes me cry harder.
“You’re fiery, and tall, and loud, and there’s nothing wrong with you at all.” Apollo kisses my forehead, my cheek, my ear. “You let out everything you need to. I’m right here.”
I grip his sides in desperate fists as emotion rocks my body. I heave in deep breaths and let them out in warbling, disjointed sobs. It’s too early to cry like this, but this is my life.
Then a wave washes over me, and I settle. Like a storm, the worst has passed, and I’m shell-shocked in the aftermath.
“There’s my witch,” he whispers, talons combing through my messy curls.
I sniffle once more and look up at Apollo, caging me against the pillows, sheltering me from the world. “I’m strong, but because of you I’m stronger.”
