Page 58 of Oh No! There's an Incubus in my Hot Spring
“I guess not.”
He nods. “I will go as fast or as slow as you want. I just want you to be happy.”
“Thanks, I really appreciate that.”
“Oh, yeah, baby, come all over me,” the woman in the phone grunts.
Apollo casts a dubious glance at the device. “She likes to be in control, too.”
I laugh and cover my face. The thought of Apollo standing over me, stroking himself to release all over my chest, kinda does something for me. But we can explore that later. I need to work before I go fucking bankrupt.
“You enjoy your porn. I’m going to set up the website,” I say, turning back to my computer.
“I have an idea how to help with Apollo’s night out!”Charlie says and I jump, grabbing my chest.
Buddy, please don’t tell me you’ve been watching the whole time,I think, hoping he can sense my thoughts.
He whistles.“Noooo. Definitely not. I most certainly went to sleep as soon as you were tied to the chair.”
I purse my lips and stare at my computer screen. He’s just a duck, a plastic duck, who gets literally no entertainment other than me. I should be more forgiving.
It’s still kinda weird.
“Anyway! You should buy a couple of those little potion bottles and some copper wire!”he goes on.
Why?
“Because, he’s not just bound to the geode. He’s bound to the mountain itself. He’ll need water, stone, and dirt.”
How do you know this?I ask, opening Purchazon.
“Remember like five years ago when your mom came out to do her séance stuff at the new office building and you decided to look up a bunch of witch stuff?”
Yeah…
“Well, I rememberedallof it! Copper is a conductive metal, and in witchy rituals, it’s used for transferring energy. If he needs the energy of the mountain to sustain his form, copper will be the best metal. And then the little bottle for water, dirt, and some rocks. Hopefully that should do it. Also, I expect you to bring me on the date if it works. I need to get out more.”
I laugh and Apollo glances at me curiously.
“Just, talkin’ with my struggle ducky,” I say, waving him off.
“Oh, why so quietly? Is it a secret?” he asks as he grins toward Charlie, who’s hanging out on the kitchen counter. Yep, I forgot about that. He definitely saw everything.
“It is, and I’m not telling either,”Charlie says, ending it with a ducky raspberry.
“Keep your secrets then.” Apollo chuckles and returns to browsing porn.
I think the first date should just be me and Apollo, but you aredefinitelyinvited on the second one.
“Deal!”
I hunt through the list of copper jewelry wire until I find one of suitable quality. I buy a leather cord for the necklace and some copper eyelets to tie everything on, and then tiny little glass fairy bottles. It’ll be here in two days, and then I can finally take Apollo for sushi.
I get the new website set up with a basic landing page loaded with SEO that says a new hot spring experience is coming to Grizzlywood. Then I get my POS set up. I don’t want to just sell admission to the pools. I want merch. I want really cool merch. Awesome hoodies, and hats, and T-shirts, and bumper stickers. Stuff that’s catchy and fun, and maybe just a little bit naughty. Something that makes you do a double take.
It's all free marketing that Turd-leneck hasn’t considered yet.
That’s a much better nickname for him.
