Page 150 of Ruthless Scoundrel
Kazimir glances over at her, a longing in his eyes.
“What did you do?” I ask, my curiosity winning out against preserving the food in my stomach.
“We revived Ladron’s deceased brain and tortured him in his mind for what could be perceived as days. We did all manner of horrible things to his imagined body, and he felt all of it as if it were real. And I’ve tortured people before like that. The mind is a powerful weapon that’s now mine to wield.”
Her eyes glow with golden light and fear prickles across the back of my neck. She would never hurt her family, though. She wouldn’t turn that power against us, the people she loves.
The color in her eyes deepens.“It depends on how far you’ve transgressed. Some wrongs are not forgivable, even between loving family.”
My chest tightens with injustice. “I would never—”
“I know,” she cuts me off. “You would never mean to hurt me irrevocably. It doesn’t mean it’s not possible.”
A sense of dread pools in my gut as I realize they’re right. Alyse is not the same woman I knew months ago. She’s not soft anymore. She’s deadly.
I banish the feeling. “I’m sorry for all that’s happened to you, but I’m glad you’ve changed.”
Alyse cocks her head in confusion.
“None of us is the same anymore. All of us are harder, stronger, a little more deranged…” I trail off as I look at Scarlett, my big sister Belle. The things that have happened to her are monstrous, and made her a monster.
“Scarlett, Lily, and I wear our scars on the outside. They’re easier to see, and heal, and it’s not as difficult to explain why we may do something crazy—like overindulge, or throw things in a fit of rage, or…whatever it is Scarlett does when she’s angry.”
Alyse chuckles. “She storms out of the room and finds something to kill.”
I nod. “Your scars are on the inside. When you ‘act out,’ people don’t understand why. They say you’re deranged. Dark. A monster. But you’re no more a monster than the rest of us. We all have a gruesome fate ahead of us.”
“Fight a goddess and pray you don’t lose everything you love while trying to save a world that’s never been kind to you…Why do we do it?” she asks, looking at me expectantly.
I consider it for a moment. No, I don’t owe the world anything just because I was born a princess, just because I was born with the right magus ability to take down an evil queen goddess. I don’toweanyone the sacrifice of my body to end her.
I think of Anthony and Gizelle. Of Alejandra, Meianha, and Cora. Maarie, Aliyah, Emial, and so many others. There were bad things that happened to us, and bad people who perpetrated them, but more often than not, we were met with kindness.
“It’s not all bad out there. And we’re the only ones who can make it better—if prophecy is to be believed.”
Alyse scoffs. “Yes, the prophecy. Fucking gods and their meddling.”
“It could be worse,” I say with a shrug. “There could be no hope at all. Gaien could be fucked with nothing we nor anyone else could do about it.”
She sighs, then nods. “At least there’s a chance. But what will we have to sacrifice to achieve it?”
I shake my head. “We’ll just have to find out, but we’ll get at least a few more scars, I’m sure.”
“Maybe I’ll get some beautiful ones, like you,” she says, running a finger up the twisting pink skin flanked by white half-moons on my forearm.
“Beautifulis not how I’d describe my scars.”
“Every part of you is beautiful,” Jasper says quietly from behind, and I jump with a start as he wraps his arms around me.
I glare at Alyse. “You could’ve warned me there was a vulgar bastard sneaking up behind me.”
She grins. “It would’ve spoiled the delightful look on your face.”
Jasper lowers his lips to my neck, and Alyse turns to Kaz, giving us some privacy. His kisses are gentle but linger, full of warm promise. A thrill echoes through me from promises past, and I imagine what tonight will be like. Safe at last, finally home, a real bath and a bed, full stomachs…such a wonderful thing I never stopped to fully appreciate before.
“I have some things I need to take care of. Will you be all right with your sisters for a while?” Jasper asks, his breath feathering the hair at my neck.
“You have things to take care of?” I ask.
