Page 59 of Feral Guardian
We ride along the stream as best we can, keeping close to fresh water, and away from bandits. I studied the maps of the region multipletimes before we departed from Fynren. I wish now I would’ve taken one with me, but the memory still serves. This river will lead us into the next town, Sovosk, which should be almost a week’s ride. With us having to avoid the road, it will be longer.
She doesn’t talk outside of telling me her needs, and we stop for the night in a grassy grove that will provide a soft platform for our tent. Perhaps if she’s more comfortable, Lily will get some sleep tonight and be more personable in the morning. I miss her being happy.
I want to talk with her about something at dinner, but words fail me. She thanks me for the meal and goes to the river to wash herself and our equipment. I try not to fall into despair as I glare into the fire. What must I do to fix this?
Lily goes to the tent immediately, and I don’t blame her. I know she’s tired. My thoughts torment me as I watch the dying fire. Her questions bubble up in my mind again and again. Why I was her guard, why protect her?
“You mustn’t reveal your purpose, Alastair, for revealing it could alter the prophecy,” my mother’s voice reminds me. But it doesn’t stop me from wanting to tell her. Not that it matters. It’s so much less about the prophecy, and has been for a decade. I protect her because I love her. I only want to see her happy. Damn the realms and kingdoms. I want Lily to be happy.
I can smell a storm on the wind. I move into the trees and use what equipment we have to craft Kor’Tar a shelter. He kicks pine needles and dirt into the space to his liking as I work on it, and I smirk at him.
“Is that going to be enough, boy?” I ask as I scratch the side of his snout.
He whinnies and then grunts. “It’ll do,” iswhat he means.
When that’s done, I pour dirt over the last of the dying embers in the firepit and stalk to the tent. Lily has shoved the bear hide blanket off her and curled against the back wall of the tent, too far from where I’m supposed to lay to share the covering with her. I could scoot closer…but she doesn’t want me to.
Fuck, what have I done?
Maybe it’s fine. She just needs some time. Needs a little space and time.
I let out a heavy sigh and drop down to my place in the tent.
Maybe tomorrow she’ll be more herself. Maybe tomorrow I won’t feel like my heart is being ripped out with every breath.
I clear my mind and try to ignore the aching in my chest. My dreams come to me swiftly despite my worries, and I’m carried back to my homeland on tumultuous waves.
The sea is always choppy in spring, bringing storms and shipwrecks to our islands. But on the rare days there’s sunshine, well, that’s what Lily’s joy feels like. A bright ray of light and warmth in an ever-present storm hanging over me.
A fate I cannot unmake.
A destiny I must try to follow.
“You must keep her safe, Alastair, or all is lost,” my mother’s soft voice says behind me.
I turn to see her standing before the cookfire, her feet bare and belly swollen with a sibling I will never meet. I’m twelve and leaving the Illyan islands tomorrow to train with a man who will transform my curse into a weapon I can wield, rather than one that wields me.
“Why must I protect thisgirlof another kingdom, and not you?” I ask.
My mother chuckles. “It’s the will of The Ten, Alastair.”
“But why?” I ask, my voice high and indignant.
“It is not my place to assume the desires of the gods…” She trails off, stirring the curry she’s tending. “I feel in my bones that something terrible is coming. That the fall of our great nation is in the balance, and you’re the one who will tip the scale.”
“What if this is a false vision?” I ask. I don’t want to leave her alone with the baby and my father gone to sea.
“The vision is not false. I’ve had it for months now.” She sets her ladle aside and approaches me, her expression soft and warm. My memory has blurred the edges of her face. She’s not quite visible when I look directly at her. I wish desperately that I could see her face fully.
Her hands cup my cheeks and I know there are tears in my eyes. “My son, you have nothing to fear in leaving me. I’ve seen our path, and this is yours. You will save us all. Stay with the second princess always, and all will be well.”
“Alastair.” Lily’s trembling voice threads through my dream and I see her on the boat to leave me across the sea.
Her young face is grim, her fists tight on the rail of the ship. I look up at her from the dock, wishing she’d take back her decree, wishing she’d take me with her. I must stay by her side. I must keep her safe.
But she doesn’t want me to come.
“It would’ve destroyed me. I’m in love with you.”
