Page 58 of Feral Guardian
“Good,” I say, banishing the last of my guilty feelings. “It’ll be a good training exercise for me since I’m going to be an ambassador for the kingdom.”
Alastair groans. “Not this again, princess.”
“What?” I exclaim innocently. “It’s what the headmistress decreed!”
“We both know you will be ascending the throne when you’ve secured a worthy suitor,” he says.
I want to tell him the truth. I want to show him the headmistress’s decree, the real one. My stomach tightens into a knot, and I breathe shallowly.
Will he stop wanting to be my guard when he sees it? He says I’m important, but when he knows what I am—unworthy of the royal name—will he stand by me?
I can’t show him. Gods, and I pray my mother doesn’t see through my magic. I pray he doesn’t tell her.
Maybe I’d be better off not going home at all.
Maybe it’d have been better if the pirates had just taken me wherever they were going…
“Finish your breakfast,” Alastair says, snapping me from my grim thoughts. “We have much to do and can only stay here one more night.”
I shove the rest of the delicious bread in my mouth, trying to chase away my darkness with the bright, yummy yolk of the egg.
I force a smile to my lips. “All right, what’s first?”
Chapter seventeen
Alastair
Lily is…off.
I’m not certain what it is, but she’s not herself. The smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Her laugh is half-hearted and fades too quickly. She’s not teasing me.
Was it what happened last night?
The memory of her taste on my tongue threatens to make my dick hard. It was like joy and desire had joined together to make a flavor just for me, one I don’t want to resist. And I hadn’t. I’d sucked every bit from her fingers and only just barely stopped myself from spreading open her thighs and devouring her.
Fuck. Thinking about it is not helping.
Lily has crafted a good length of rope for us, stakes for the tent poles, and a carrying case for all of it. This will provide a more than suitable dwelling for us on the road.
Meanwhile, I’d carved up more of the bear meat for smoking. I worry about smoking it this close to Yelesna and attracting attention, but we need more accessible food if we’re going to make good time on the road. I want her home as soon as possible.
When I’ve created a proper smoking fire and hung the bear meat over it, I move on to the next task. I haul rocks out of the river and crack them open by smashing them together, looking for ore Lily can use for our other tools. There are a few decent veins, and she sets about pulling the silvery material free from the stone to make our cookware.
She saves some of the prettier stones—in her opinion—to create two cups with little handles, and some eating utensils. Creature comforts I can’t deny my princess though I know she needs to be making weapons.
Dusk comes before I’ve done all that I want, but Nol’Ther will bring her darkness when she will, and who am I to fight the gods? I find some wild onions that I cook up in the grease of the bear fat, and Lily moans in delight at the taste.
She’s herself for that instant, her eyes bright as she enjoys the food. At least that’s one thing I can do for her. I’ll have to work harder to find more accompanying foods to make this trip pleasant—but still while making good time.
Gods, am I cut out for this?
Lily is silent through the night, but I know she hasn’t slept by the dark bags under her green eyes in the morning. She yawns several times, rubbing her face and blinking sleepily. I wish I wouldn’t have made her terrified of sleeping next to me.
We saddle Kor’Tar and strap him down with our new tools. I help Lily up into the seat, and when I fall in behind her, I notice she’s taking special care in trying not to lean into me.
I’ve made my ward fear me.
Fuck.
