Page 35 of Feral Guardian
I bring her over to the bed, but I am loath to set her down. She’s a weight in my arms unlike any other, one that fills me with both joy, and fear. Despite my insufferable demon’s protests, I set her down on the mattress.
Her fingers clutch my shirt weakly as I pull away. I grab her little hand and untuck her fist to release my clothes, but then she holds onto my thumb instead.
“Wait,” she mumbles.
“What is it, princess?” I kneel beside her.
Her eyes flutter open and she comes up onto her elbow. She looks a little green. “I need to tell you something.”
I grab the bucket that serves as the chamber pot from under the bed and set it beside her on the floor. “Tell me.”
Her eyes get glossy as she opens and closes her mouth, trying to summon her words. “I didn’t want you to stay behind.”
My stomach twists with guilt, pain, and anger, but no words accompany the feelings. Or perhaps, it’s too many words. My thoughts collide and fizzle out as I’m left staring at her.
“I had to squash it,” she says, a tear spilling over her rosy cheek.
“Squash what, princess?” I ask over the thundering of my heart.
She licks her lips and swallows. “May I have some water?”
I nod and rise, but she doesn’t let go of me. Her big, innocent eyes pierce my soul and weaken my anger.
I unfurl her grip with my other hand. “I need to get it.”
She lets go, falling back down to the bed.
I find the carafe of warm water sitting beside the bowl in which to wash our hands and face with a ratty towel next to it. I sniff the water, then wave my poison detection ring over it. Clean enough. I pour some into a small cup and return to her side. She’s snoring gently, her arm resting over her eyes.
“Lily,” I whisper as I cradle the back of her head and lift her.
She groans as I put the cup to her lips. Her hand falls over mine as I tilt the glass and help her drink. Her fingers are hot and trembling. When the cup is empty, I lay her back against the thin pillow to let her rest.
“Alastair,” she says, her voice low and gravelly.
My name said that way from her lips has my blood heating.
“What now, little imp?”
Her lip trembles. “It would’ve destroyed me to marry and take the throne while still being in love with you.”
I make a choked noise without realizing and snap my mouth shut.
“In love with you.”The words play over in my head twice more before she speaks again.
“I thought four years apart would let my heart move on.” She smirks weakly and whispers, “How wrong I was.”
Surely, her love is not romantic. Surely, she means something else. Like loving a brother, or perhaps a mentor. No, why would that matter to marrying?
I open my mouth to ask her to clarify, but she snores softly, cutting me off. My head spins much like I think Lily’s has been and I sit on the side of her bed.
“In love with me?” I whisper, my forehead pinned in a scowl.
Juuren, strip me of my hubris and reveal the truth.
A kaleidoscope of memories whirl before me. Lily holding my hand, smiling up at me, rushing to my side, throwing her arms around me, grinning impishly when I fell prey to her traps, her cheeks flushing when I told her she was the most important thing to me before she left…
“Oh, gods, help me,” I grumble into my palms as I hang my head.
