Page 84 of A Match Made in Hell
‘He’salwaysthreatening to open the gates.’ He can’t hide the bite of frustration in his tone. ‘It didn’t mean you had to go and believe him. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?’
As the adrenaline wears off, my lip wobbles. Instead of being the tiniest bit pleased I’m staying, he’s treating me like a small child needing a scolding for a misdemeanour – although I suppose stabbing a guy is somewhat worse than stealing a lollipop.
I jut out my chin. ‘I did whatIwanted to. That’s not a crime.’
Why should I be denied what I want a moment more? Maybe my sin is I care too much. I am greedy and selfish and want things I shouldn’t, but I will also fight for those I care about. Asphodel was at risk and I was prepared to do something about it, which is more than I could ever say for him.
He grinds his jaw so hard I think his teeth might crack.Finally, he looks away from me, raking his fingers through his hair and saying, ‘Let’s not do this here.’
He douses Aric’s body in black flames, turning him to smoke and ash. Another wave of his hand and Harper disappears.
‘Is she –’
‘She’ll wake in her room, none the worse for wear.’ He draws closer and takes my hand. The movement is gentle, at odds with the way he’s spoken to me so far, the slow slide of our palms connecting sending a shiver down my spine as our fingers interlace.
My heart swells. Harper’s okay, and Sath’s touching me, and everything is alive with possibility again, but then his grip tightens, too tight to be comfortable, and fire blazes in his eyes. ‘I wish I could say the same for you.’
28
He portals us into his sitting room.
I avoid looking at the bedroom door and drop on to the couch, suddenly boneless. I failed. I really failed. I’m not going home. It feels like a weight has been lifted only for another to be dropped straight on me, because Sath still hasn’t said one thing to suggest he’s pleased about the development.
A drink is placed on the table. I don’t touch it. Sath downs his in one and sits beside me, keeping a careful distance. We’re like two bookends with no tomes between us, just empty space and unsaid words. I have so many things to ask him but, for once, can’t bring myself to speak.
Sath breaks the silence. ‘What were you thinking?’
‘I was thinking . . .’ I muster the energy to shoot him a glare. His lack of enthusiasm is starting to grate. ‘That Aric’s a bastard who deserved to be stabbed. He was threatening everyone here.’
‘Aric’s always been a bastard,’ Sath retorts. ‘All you had to do was control yourself for once and you –’
‘What did you think would happen?’ I throw the words at him like weapons. ‘He’s been torturing us for months. Following us around, making his sly threats, sharpening his teeth. He attacked Henry yesterday. What did youthinkI’d do when I was presented with a knife and locked in a room with him?’
‘I thought, after everything you’ve overcome, you’d pass.’
‘Well, Ichosenot to.’ We glower at each other. ‘Sorry all your effort went to waste. Aric told me what you did. How you promised he could kill me if he kept quiet about that day in the games room. Did you promise him Harper too?’
‘Of course not,’ Sath says, sounding weary. ‘After your fight, I saw an opportunity. I told him if he let what happened go then he’d get his chance for revenge. I lied to him, not you. He was supposed to antagonise you during wrath, yes, but he couldn’t attack first and I assumed you’d have the sense not to attack him. And I never gave permission for him to hurt Harper.’
‘Then you’re an idiot. Of course he hurt Harper. He’s a monster.’ My hands shake. ‘And if I’m a monster for hurting him back, so be it. Guess I always belonged here.’
Sath looks away. The dismissive gesture is like a knife to my own gut. ‘You say that like it’s a good thing.’
‘Isn’t it?’ My voice is small as I ask the question that’s been on my mind since I saw his face in the pit. ‘Is it that terrible, that I’m staying?’
I’mstaying. The realisation seeps in further, a trickle of water pushing through a dam until the knowledge bursts. I’m dead. I’m dead, and I’m staying that way.
And Sath doesn’t care.
‘Is this about your concession? Was it really more important than –’ I already know the answer; it’s written all over his face. It was. Every moment we had together was all designed to help me pass, to get him whatever it was he wanted so badly, and now I’ve failed I’m no good to him. I will him to contradict me, to offer me some modicum of comfort.
‘You’ll end up in the Void, Willow.’
That is the opposite of comforting. But if he thinks he can scare me, he’s wrong. ‘So, the no-punishment-for-failing thing was a lie? Well, fine. Bring it on. I hear my mother’s voice so often I may as well be in the Void already. She can’t hurt me anymore.’
‘It was all for nothing,’ Sath mutters. I’m not sure he’s been listening to me at all. His eyes are fixed on his empty tumbler, but his gaze is unfocused, his mind elsewhere. ‘It’s over. I can’t . . .’ He gets to his feet and begins to pace, steam rising from the carpet.
‘Sath?’ The last time he looked this lost, it was the day I made him kill those demons. ‘What are you talking about?’
