Page 35 of A Match Made in Hell
I swallow. ‘Do the demons know how close they are to getting everything they want?’
‘They know something is happening. Asphodel is changing. Walls that used to be beige have turned black. Lava spews from cracks that shouldn’t be there. Plants that used to grow in abundance have died. I spread a rumour it’s all down to Asphodel stretching to make room for more souls, and in the meantime I visit different areas each night, making public demonstrations of what I can do so they won’t consider challenging me. They have no idea I can’t stop them.’
‘It’s a shame there isn’t a set of gates leading to Elysium to balance it out.’ I narrow my eyes. ‘Unless there is, and you’ve hidden them from me.’
Sath huffs. ‘Believe me, I’ve looked. There’s no easy route into Elysium. I imagine they didn’t want us disturbing their peace and found a way to stay hidden. A pity we didn’t do the same before Tartarus came calling.’
‘And now they’re at the door, your only solution is to pretend to be awful for eternity?’ That isn’t fair. Sadness drifts off him in waves. Instinctively, I put my hand over his and squeeze. It twitches beneath mine, but he doesn’t pull away.
He stares at our hands for a minute, and then looks across at me. ‘We’re all pretending to be something.’
I flinch, a little too visibly to be casual. I’ve pretended to be multiple people over the years: dutiful daughter, model student, perfect girlfriend. Three things that should belong together butI’ve never been able to get the patchwork to stitch. Pretending is probably the problem. I need to find a way tobecome.
Maybe he needs to become something else too.
‘You said you were losing control of the gates,’ I say. ‘Can’t you get it back?’
‘No.’
‘But –’
‘It’s gone, Willow. I’m done.’ He swigs another drink like it’s water. ‘It’s done.’
His words are a vice around my chest. Not only because of the fear of what’s to come for him, for me, for all of us, but because of his sorrow too. I don’t understand how he can be so defeated. He clearly doesn’t want the gates to open, so how can he give up when he’s the only person with the power to stop it from happening?
Sath clears his throat. ‘I don’t think I need to say you can’t tell anyone this.’
‘I figured.’ I shift closer, nudging his knee with mine. ‘Whyareyou telling me?’
A smile tugs on his lips. ‘Maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t have anyone else to talk to.’
‘Hm.’ I tap my glass. I don’t know what I expected when I asked him tobe less devily, but it certainly wasn’t for him to offload all his issues on to me. He must be desperate, because I’d make a terrible therapist. I can’t even solve my own problems.
Being alone can’t be good for him. He’s completely disassociated from the humans, meaning he has no idea what it’s like to be one. If he cared more about them, maybe it’d remind him they’re worth fighting for. And I need him to fight – just because I’m leaving soon, doesn’t mean I won’t be back eventually, and I’d like to return to somewhere that isn’t overrun with bats that want to eat me. ‘What do you do when you’re not ruling?’
The question seems to throw him. ‘Well, there was the year I attempted to memorise the dictionary.’
‘The year you . . . Oh,Sath.’ I have got to find this man a hobby.
He looks at me like I’m the one who needs to be pitied in this scenario, like I’m a fool for even suggesting he take some time for himself. ‘I don’t have time when I’m not ruling, not really. If there’s trouble on the boats, I get to threaten the newcomers. Otherwise, I’m in Dionysus reminding everyone how scary I am.’
He says it flippantly, a wry smile on his features, but I wonder what cracks those jokes are papering over. He said this place was supposed to be a new beginning, but he doesn’t act like he’s living at all, hiding away in his room reading thedictionaryfor fun.
He turns to face me, and a lock of dark hair falls over his forehead. The sight of it does things to me it shouldn’t.
‘Do you have a beanie?’ I blurt out.
‘Excuse me?’
‘A beanie. Like a hat.’
‘I know what a beanie is, Willow.’
‘Perfect.’ I beam at him. ‘Put one on and meet me in the projection cave.’
Sath sighs. ‘I can’t be seen –’
I put a finger to his lips. They’re softer than I expected. He sucks in a breath, sending a rush of cold air over my skin, but he doesn’t move.
