Page 60 of Kiss-Fist
I push him away from me, and he stumbles back, his hair a mess, his eyes wild. There’s a look on his face that I can’t read, and I hate it. But it is what it is. He made his position clear and I can’t argue with him about it. I’m the one who fucked up and I’m not going to drag him down with me.
I quickly rearrange myself in case someone walks in. I don’t want them to see us in this compromising position. I don’t want him to get in trouble. It’s the very least I can do to make this right.
His gaze meets mine and he lifts a hand to tap on his chin. ‘What’s wrong?’
I point to the lock and then sign, ‘Open.’
His eyes widen, and he attempts to put himself back together, adjusting his shirt and hair, tucking his cock beneath the waistband of his slacks. The bulge of it is visible, and hell, it makes me want to get on my knees and nuzzle it, but I don’t. I don’t have the right to his body anymore…I think. Our gazes meet again and he holds mine for a long time, then lets a breath out on a sigh, and the moment is once again shattered.
Robbie turns his back on me, and I touch the bruised part of my neck that he sucked on. I know I have a mark there. I can still feel the echo of his teeth and tongue against my skin and an ache hits me in the center of the chest at the thought that this might very well be the last time his lips ever touch me.
Grabbing his bag, Robbie twists the door handle, and it swings open without a fight, almost knocking into me. He points to the hallway, and I grab my backpack and slink out.Thank god no one is in sight. At the very least, neither of us will have to explain the way we look to anyone.
My feet follow him as we walk toward the exit. The sound of the rain is pounding on the roof, and it’s making me shiver. I didn’t bring a jacket, ofcourse. I wasn’t thinking. But as Robbie leads us outside, he stops under the awning and I can just make out the sound of his sigh over the storm.
He turns to look at me and shakes his head.
I don’t know what that means and it must show on my face because he shakes his head and points, waving me forward before he runs right into the damn rain. I have no choice but to follow, immediately soaked as I step into the downpour from the storm barreling around us.
It takes me a second to realize where we’re going. The staff parking lot is at the far end of the building and I zero in on the sight of his car. I can barely see anything except his dark silhouette as he fumbles in his pocket for something, and then he comes to a halt, holding his coat half over his head as my shoes slide on the wet asphalt.
I’m shivering by the time Robbie gets his keys out, and the lights flash as he unlocks it.
He meets my gaze through the rain, then nods and signs a word I can understand. ‘Enter.’
And I do. I’ve never once been able to ignore a direct order from him, and despite whatever’s going on between us now, that hasn’t changed. Not yet. And probably not ever.
I toss my backpack at my feet and slam the door shut as Robbie does the same. The water starts coming down harder, the rain creating a barrier on the windows. No one can seethrough. Between the sheets of water running down the glass and the darkness, we’re all alone.
I can hear his breath picking up, his hands sliding across the steering wheel, and then he’s climbing up over the console and onto me. His wet body melts against mine. I make room for him, shuffling my legs together so his knees fit on either side. My hands move to his incredible ass as his lips meet mine once more.
They’re frantic, angry.
And a little sweet.
I groan, and so does he, his fingers moving all over me. They’re in my hair, on my face, coasting down my chest. Grazing my cock. With every touch comes the realization that I was wrong. This isn’t over. There’s still hope. That thing in his office, that long moment, was not a goodbye. But the freezing cold water soaking into my skin keeps me from losing myself too much and I realize this is wrong.
He’s doing this in the parking lot of his college. Ohgod. Wecannotbe doing this at his place of work. If anyone sees, if one person catches a single glimpse, that might be it for him, and it’ll definitely be it for me. He’ll get fired and I’ll get kicked out and he’ll resent me forever for it.
No. Hecan’tlose anything because of me. I couldn’t live with myself if that happened.
But it’s too hard to find the words or the signs. I don’t want to stop touching him now that I know he’s not done with me. I take a breath and grip him, slowing the motion of our kisses until they stop.
He pulls away after a beat, his eyes concerned. He stares hard, and I swallow as his eyes moves to the hickey he left onmy neck. I feel his gaze almost like a physical touch and I’m almost too afraid to move. ‘What’s wrong?’ he finally asks, breaking the still silence. ‘Why stop?’
‘You work here. You-me need,’ I search my mind for a new word before deciding to fingerspell it. ‘CAREFUL.’
He watches and then sighs, showing me how to sign it.
I copy him, and he nods, running a hand through his hair and moving off my lap. I feel the absence of him, the utter despondency that rips through me. Dramatic, I know. But I’m so gone for this guy, and he has no idea.
He makes it to his seat and takes a heaving breath, his forehead hitting the steering wheel. I move to leave, grabbing my backpack, hand on the door handle, when he stops me.
“Wait,” he says aloud, and I freeze. I’ve never heard him speak before. The word sounds heavy in his chest, thick in the back of his throat, his voice nothing like I expected.
I love it.
His face is turned toward me, his lips parted, and then he signs something. Something that makes me unable to move, unable to leave.
