Page 77 of Score to Settle
A look of horror crosses her face as I shake my head.
Before I can explain, Edward clears his throat from the doorway. “I’m going to leave you ladies to it and check my emails.”
Mia gives him a grateful look.
“While you’re both here, I want to say thanks again for letting me stay here for the last few months.” I look between them. “I signed the lease on the studio apartment today, so I’ll be out of your hair in a couple of days.” I look around the living room and the place which has become my haven once again this week. Mia’s penthouse apartment might only have one bedroom, but it’s by no means small. The rooms are huge and decorated in Mia’s eclectic taste of vintage and modern. There’s an antique brass floor lamp in the corner and a sleek glass coffee table in front of the couch. Bright green wallpaper with pink flamingos on it covers one wall and there’s a fluffy white rug on the floor.Somehow it works with the huge L-shaped couch I’m sitting on that takes up two walls. It’s a gorgeous, dark green velvet, the color of the spruce trees bordering the lake at the ranch. Fuck, everything reminds me of the ranch now…
Edward smiles, pushing his glasses higher on his nose. “No thanks needed and no rush. We like having you here. Mia is much happier when you are.” I wonder if I imagine the barbed edge to his comment, but he’s gone and Mia is talking before I can question it.
“I love you, Harper, but you’re an idiot. You need to talk to Jake and clear this up,” she says with a shake of her black braids.
Disappointment lies heavy in my gut. I know I’m in the wrong. I should’ve told Jake the full truth about Scott and trusted him to take my side. And maybe I shouldn’t have written all my negative thoughts about Jake in my notebook. But we both hated each other at the start. As soon as I saw who Jake really was, my thoughts and my notes changed, and with it any idea that the feature would act as payback disappeared. But that doesn’t change the fact I hurt him, and I’m the first person he’s ever let in like this… I can’t imagine what he’s thinking—or if he’ll ever be able to let me back in.
I sigh. Frustration and hurt battle for space in my mind. I know it was hard for him to open up—it was hard for me too—but if what we had was the start of something special, how can he walk away from it so easily?
“Look,” Mia says, giving my hand a gentle squeeze, “I get that you and Jake didn’t exactly hit it off. And I can see why your notebook would say some pretty scathing things about him?—”
“It says a lot of good things too if he’d bothered to look,” I cut in.
“Yeah, except he’d just been blindsided with the whole Scott being your editor thing. And by the way, Scott is never workingat Arquette Media. But you can’t really blame Jake for not wanting to listen straightaway, can you?”
I groan, hollow sadness stretching inside me. I’ve spent the last twenty-four hours flipping from angry to sad. Fuming at Jake for not giving me more time to explain and show him the rest of my notebook. It’s been easier than facing up to the fact that I’ve fucked everything up by not being open with him. In five minutes with my best friend, everything seems different. Clearer.
I really have been an idiot. I draw in a long breath and try to explain. “What happened with Scott was the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m only just putting my life back together. Not telling Jake was more about me than him.”
“But did you explain that to him?” Mia asks with a pointed look. The same look she gave me when I cried on her bed over Jake ten years ago.How do you expect him to know who you are if you won’t walk up to him and say hi?She had a point then too.
I bury my head in my hands. “No. I didn’t get the chance, and I tried to call but he didn’t answer,” I say in a muffled voice.
“Believe me, I’ll be having a word with him about answering his phone when I see him later.”
My head shoots up. A spark of something ignites in my chest. Excitement? Hope? “You’re seeing Jake later?”
She looks at her watch and nods. “And so are you if you get in the shower and make yourself look less like you’ve spent all day wallowing on this couch with a family-sized bag of Cheetos.”
“You know me so well.” I smile. “But how are we?—”
“We’ll miss the start, but we can still get to the skybox to watch some of the game and you can see Jake afterward. And then the two of you can talk properly, even if I have to bang your heads together.”
“Will you be allowed in?”
Her cackling laugh fills the living room. “I’m a VP at the biggest media firm in Colorado. You don’t think I get a pass to every event in Denver? So what are you going to do?” she adds like there’s only one answer.
I hesitate. I know I have to be the one to make the first move, but what if Jake rejects me? What if it really is over? What if he thinks I’m the worst human in the world? Except the Jake I know would never think that. He’s wrong. I do trust him. I trust him to be the man I’ve come to know over the last five weeks.
I give a slow nod. “Everything else aside, today’s my last day covering Jake for the feature, so I really should be at that game anyway.”
“Right, then.” She stands and pulls me from the couch. A Cheeto falls from my lap onto the floor and we both laugh before I hurry to the bathroom to shower and change.
As the warm water cascades over me, my head spins with thoughts of Jake. We barely saw each other yesterday. I’ve missed his teasing smile, the way his eyes light up when he looks at me. Most of all, I’ve missed the way he makes me feel—cherished, understood, alive in a way I never have before.
I turn off the water and wrap myself in one of Mia’s fluffy towels. When I catch my reflection in the mirror, my eyes are troubled and unsure but there’s still that spark of hope, that need to hurry. Maybe I’ve blown my chance with Jake, but I owe it to myself and him to find out.
I dress quickly in woolly tights, a cute denim skirt and my red Stormhawks tee beneath a black cardigan, teamed with a pair of heeled ankle boots. I swipe on some mascara and add concealer beneath my eyes. I don’t have time for anything else except to add my favorite red lipstick, grab my notebook, and hurry out the door with Mia.
Mia’s clarity has strengthened my resolve. I need to apologize to Jake for not being honest about who Scott was from the start. I’ll do a better job of explaining my vulnerability, and I’ll force Jake to read the rest of my notebook. My stomach knots remembering the hurt in his eyes. I need to make him see that I don’t think that way about him anymore. Looking back, I’m not sure I ever truly did. It was easier to blame my failings and bad choices on one past event—on Jake—than it was to face them head on. I’ve been such a fool. And yet, the flickers of a smile touch my lips as we hit the parking garage and stride to Mia’s Lexus. I’m already imagining Jake seeing me from the field, shooting me that smile. Then later, the way he’ll pull me into his arms and we’ll be alright again.
THIRTY-NINE
