Page 29 of Enzo
Lara has never judged my father, brothers, or me for deciding to work for the Amato Family, it just wasn’t for her. Cristian had an NDA written up so we could keep her in the loop about important things—like the real cause of Enzo’s accident—but also keep the Family secrets safe as well. I know from the other bodyguards, not every family gets that privilege, but my father worked for the Boss a long time, and as his children, we proved trustworthy.
“How’s work been?” she asks as she sits in the armchair next to the couch after putting all her plant paraphernalia away.
“Busy. We’ve been working on getting De Luca stable enough to finish his recovery at his own house. Doc has been a bit extra caustic lately because of it.”
Lara snorts. “Is your boss ever not caustic?”
I shrug because well, she has a point, but the last few weeks have also shown a different side of him. Not just because Enzo and I are getting a glimpse of what Doc’s like when he’s at home, but because Soren has been pulling emotions and responses from him I never thought possible.
Doc is still Doc, and I’ve heard the way he speaks to Soren—he gives the poor guy a run for his money—but while there’s still a bite and fire to him, the edge to it is…different. I’m not quite sure how to explain it. Doc hasn’t changed, but around Soren he seems to become more himself than ever before. It’s nice to see.
My friend has a tendency to drive people to the point of murder, but if the doting looks Soren gives him are any indication, he likes it when Doc pushes his buttons. Encourages it even, with the way he responds to the older man.
Whatever works for them, I guess. To me it sounds exhausting, but that may be because while Doc is my friend and boss, there’s only so much of him I can take before fantasizing about shoving his scalpels where they don’t belong.
“And Enzo? How’s he doing? He’s been answering my texts sporadically.”
I sigh and sink further into the sofa, wishing the plush cushions would swallow me whole.
Thankfully, I’m saved from having to respond immediately by the doorbell ringing. Lara hops up to collect the food, and I’m content to let her do all the work of gathering plates, cutlery, and drinks. She can either feel my stress levels rolling off me in waves, or she’s simply in a good mood today, because she doesn’t mention anything about me not helping. Not that I’d think she was serious if she did make a comment—shit-giving is our love language—but it’s still abnormal for me to not at least offer.
Lara gives me until we dish up our food—heaping plates of Chinese food that make my mouth water because fuck knows if I remember when the last time I ate was—before she raises an expectant, manicured eyebrow.
Sighing, I scoop up some food and chew harder than necessary on a bite of fried rice before finally answering her. “I’m not sure exactly, which I know is stupid. I’m his boyfriend for fuck’s sake. I see him every single day…hell, I’m in charge of his recovery but… I don’t know how he’s doing. Sure, I can tell you his wound is healing well, that he’s making progress in physical therapy, and he’s so fucking stubborn and independent…I’m pretty sure he learned how to get around on his crutches so efficiently simply out of spite, but… I can’t tell you how he’s handling everything, emotionally or mentally, becauseI don’t know. He’s shut me out. He finally talked to the therapist Doc set him up with the other day, but didn’t tell me anything. Imean… look, I don’t expect him to, those sessions are his alone, but fuck, he’s never not been open with me before.”
I can’t stop my tears. They leave hot tracks down my cheeks as they fall, and I set my food on the coffee table to avoid spilling it.
I’m not ashamed of crying, but fucking hell, it’s embarrassing to be blubbering all over my sister’s couch.
“I feel less like a partner and more like just another care provider, and I hate that. I hate how fucking selfish that makes me sound, because I’m not the one who had my entire life turned upside down.”
“That’s not true at all,” Lara says firmly. “Enzo isn’t the only one who went through something traumatic. Yes, the injury happened to him, but you’re the one who’s not only been taking care of him medically since the beginning, but emotionally too as his partner. It’s a big deal, K.”
“I don’t want to take away from what he’s going through, or make it seem as if I don’t care that he’s having a hard time. He’s so fucking proud, and stubborn, and I knew that about him ages ago.”
“But he’s not the only one affected. How long have you been swallowing down your feelings for his comfort?”
The pointed look Lara gives has me glancing down at my lap. Helplessness fills me, and the utter despair of not knowing what to do is crushing. It’s a feeling I’ve become used to recently, as I helplessly watch Enzo go down a path I can empathize with but never fully understand.
“Your relationship has always been strong, cohesive,” Lara says gently. “We could all see it, from the very beginning, how you two pushed and pulled to make one another better. Hell, we all aspire to have a relationship like yours. You’re not one to suffer in silence, Kail. Even if you’re accommodating Enzo’sfeelings, you know you’re worth more than having your own pushed aside.”
I swallow. “You’re right.”
Lara smiles softly. “Talk to Enzo, K. That’s the only way you’re going to get anywhere.”
I nod and reach for my food again, even though my stomach is in knots, but that’s my own fault more than anything. Lara’s right, I’ve always been good at advocating for myself, and I haven’t been doing that.
It helps no one for me to stay silent on issues I normally wouldn’t have any problem bringing up. It’s unfair, not only to me, but to Enzo and the life we’ve built. It’s time to change that, because Enzo isn’t the only one who has to heal and move forward now.
I hate that my sister’s right, not that I’ll ever tell her that. Though from the way she watches me, she already knows. I roll my eyes at her, and she laughs, unaffected.Sigh… Siblings.
“Ihate you, you fucking sadist.”
Jayden laughs. “You say the nicest things to me.”
He helps me transfer from the floor mat to the wheelchair. I hate using the thing, but on days like this, when the asshole puts me through his rigorous physical therapy program, I’m quietly grateful to have it at the same time.
Jayden helps me clean up a little, so I’m not sliding back into bed sweaty, but I don’t bother with a shower, partly because my aching body is too worn out, and partly because I’d rather not have Jayden, of all people, see me naked.
