Page 16 of Enzo
My boyfriend huffs. “Then at least see Benji the next time he stops by? You need more visitors than me, Doc, and James!”
“You and Doc don’t count since you’re the ones taking care of me.”
Hurt flashes across his face, there and gone almost too quickly as he smooths his expression out.
“Kail…”
“It’s fine. I know what you meant. But you can’t live your life in isolation, baby.”
“I’m not. I’m just…processing.”
“Dr. Madison will help you process, if that’s what you really need. But you can’t shut your family or best friend out.” He sits at the edge of my bed and reaches for my hand. In a gentle tone, he asks, “Are you afraid they’ll look at you differently?”
“Of course they’re going to look at me differently! Iamdifferent. I’m not the same person I was a few weeks ago. I’ve lost my job, my leg, my fuckinghome.I’m grateful for everything Doc’s done, I truly am, but aren’t you tired of sleeping on that damn twin bed? Or upstairs, in a room that isn’t ours?”
“Of course I am. But I also know that being here is the best thing for you, and your safety will always be my priority, Enzo.”
I huff. “That’s supposed to be my line.”
Kail smiles, soft, gentle, and so full of love. “It’s both of ours. We’re a team, aren’t we?”
I squeeze his hand, guilt filling me at the knowledge that I don’t deserve this man. He’s putting up with my piss-poor attitude far better than I would in his position.
“I know I’m being unreasonable about the visitor thing, but I just…I can’t, Kail. I can barely wrap my head around everything, it’s all happening so fast. I know your family cares, and I love them. They’ve shown how much they care about me more than my own ever did. But I also can’t look your father in the eye and assure him I’ll take care of his son when I can’t even stand at the fucking toilet on my own.”
“You know Papa doesn’t care about that. He just wants me happy. And you make me happy, Enzo. So fucking happy. I’m not asking you to shove your feelings away, but…that’s what the therapist is for. To help you get through this and to figure out all the confusing things in your head you’re not willing to talk to me about. I know there are some. I’ve known you too long not to realize how you work by now, my love. But don’t worry, I’m prepared to counter all your bullshit with my own.”
He smiles and I laugh, a lightness filling me that’s been missing for far too long. One of my favorite things about Kail is how he doesn’t take any shit, especially not from me.
His father and brothers made sure he was well prepared, not only for the wider world and nursing school, but when Doc tookhim under his wing, they gave him a crash course in everything he needed to know about working with snarky, egotistical doctors. There’s a reason Doc made him my primary nurse, even though it could probably be argued that Kail’s not objective enough when it comes to me. In truth, he’s probably one of the only people who can dish the shit even better than he takes it.
“I love you.”
“Love you too. I’m going to go shower and change. I’m on duty tonight, but Doc won’t care what I wear for that. Unless you do?” he asks almost innocently.
“Of course not.” I grin.
He laughs. “That’s what I thought. Be back soon.” He hops off the bed and heads out of the room, taking all the lightness and joy I was feeling with him.
When I’m alone, I sigh, not sure what to do with myself now that I don’t have him to distract me. Being alone with my thoughts is…not fun.
I don’t have to wait long until the door to my room opens and Doc walks in. “How you doing today?” he asks as he reads over my chart.
“Alive.”
Doc looks up, tilting his head slightly as he studies me. “Have you spoken to the therapist?”
“Sure have.”If by speaking you mean canceled my appointment without rescheduling, then sure.
Doc takes a seat on the edge of my bed. “Don’t lie to me, Enzo. I know you better than that.”
“Do you?”
The hard stare I get would make anyone else cringe, but I’ve dealt with a mafia heir for the last twenty-one years, so it doesn’t affect me.
At the same time, Doc does know me. Our friendship has survived the past twenty-two years, and as such, he knows meas well as Kail does. Because when you become someone’s full-time guard, you learn about them inside and out—though James took that literally considering he and Doc are best friends with benefits. We might not have worked out professionally, but our friendship cemented in the time we did spend together, which means Doc can sniff out my bullshit as well as Kail.
“Have you seen Benji?”
