Page 70 of Misfit Monsters
I grimace, but there is no more accurate word. “Yes.”
“But… You said you didn’t think we should be kissing any more.”
Shame prickles through me. I look down at my hands. “I didn’t say I wasn’t selfish. Youarein danger when you’rearound me. But I still… If you’re going to be with anyone… I wish it could be me.”
There’s a pause. Then Peri sinks down onto the edge of the mattress, close enough to rest her hand on my arm.
My entire body jolts with the awareness of her presence and the electric desire it stirs inside me. I don’t dare look at her.
“It could be you,” she says, with her unshakeable brightness. “I don’t think I’m inthatmuch danger.”
My fists squeeze even tighter. “You don’t know. I thought it would be fine before—that I would never— But I was wrong. There’s too much poison in me.”
Peri strokes her thumb up and down my arm. “Why don’t you tell me what happened before, and I can decide.”
A lump clogs my throat.
But why shouldn’t she know? If I tell her, she might recoil in horror—and that would be a good thing. She’ll leave me alone so I don’t have to worry about doing her any harm.
I close my eyes. “I used to live among humans some of the time. I liked being around people, hearing them talk, seeing the things they’d do. What they could make. There was this woman who’d sit by the town’s river to paint, and I’d watch her, and we started talking to each other… I wanted to be with her all the time.”
Peri’s stroking thumb stills. Issheat all jealous?
Is it wrong that part of me wants her to be?
The image of Caroline’s dark hair and pale eyes swims up from the back of my mind. I force myself to go on.
“One night, we came back to her house and saw someone had broken in. They’d smashed one of her windows, thrown her things around, stolen stuff. I got so angry that I hadn’t been able to protect her… my powers surged up before I could stop them. She was holding my hand—my poison shot right into her from my skin. It only took a second, and she collapsed. Shedied.”
“Raze.” Peri’s voice shakes.
Instead of pulling away like anyone sensible would, she pushes herself up on her knees and wraps her arms right around me.
Her chin tucks over my shoulder, her bare cheek against my neck, with no fear of what might seep out of me now. “I’m so sorry. That must have been awful.”
“I was awful,” I mutter. “I lost my head. I ran around the neighborhood and murdered at least a dozen more people with my sight and my touch thinking one of them was the burglar, wanting to punishsomeone—but it was my fault. I’m lucky the staff here gave me a chance to reform instead of banishing me right away.”
“They must have been able to tell that’s not who you are. You had a bad reaction in a horrible situation. Anyone would have gotten overwhelmed.”
“Most beings wouldn’t have killed all those people because of it.”
“You wouldn’t again.” Peri turns my face toward her so I have to meet her gaze. Her bright blue eyes shimmer with so much compassion my gut aches. “You probably never cared about anyone that much before—you didn’t know you’d be set off like that. You’ve never gone on another rampage, have you?”
My mouth twists. “Only because I’m so careful. I’ve hurt a few of the other beings here accidentally when my temper got away from me.”
“You must be getting good at staying calm. Hail kept picking on you during the mission, and you didn’t hurt him. You didn’t hurt Jonah even though you were upset just now.”
“I still could. Part of me wanted to.”
“Then it shows even more control that you didn’t, noteven a little.” Peri cups my cheek, the tenderness of her touch tingling through my skin. “I think you’ve been doing amazing after what was a terrible accident. And you couldn’t hurt me as badly or as quickly as you did her, could you? I’m shadowkind, not mortal.”
“I could still hurt you a lot—and if I couldn’t stop it in time?—”
“I’m not scared.”
She leans in to brush her lips against my cheek.
My pulse stutters. For a second, I sit there frozen.
