Page 37 of Misfit Monsters
A small smile curves Gloss’s lips. She nods her head in acceptance. “Good thinking, Fleet.” As I seat myself, her cool gaze lingers on me as if she’s already finding me wanting.
The only emotion I taste from her is the faintest whiff of resigned satisfaction, like champagne on the verge of going flat.
“I didn’t come here to watch shadowkind act like boars,” she says evenly. “I assume you’ve never eaten at an upscale restaurant before?”
I shake my head.
Gloss rests her slender hand against her pointed chin. “First, of course, you’ll need to order. It’s important that you catch the waiter’s attention with the right utensil. Pick up the larger fork and wave it high in the air in a circular motion.”
Gamely, I select the larger of the two forks at my place setting—why would we need both? Are they magically enhanced with different features?—and swivel it in the air over my head.
Gloss’s instructions appear to work, because another being in a suit trots over before I’ve made more than a fewrotations. “Would you like the filet mignon or the linguine al limon, madam?”
I don’t know what either of those things taste like. In my momentary hesitation, Gloss’s friend Tansy jumps in. “You should get the linguine. The rest of us will have the filet mignon, but it’d be too much for you to handle, I think.”
The other women around the table nod, so I do too, with a smile at the shadowkind playing waiter.
As he hurries off, Fleet motions to the bottle of wine the others have poured from. “Are you going to have something to drink? You need to stand up and bow to your glass before you pour, or it’ll look like you don’t appreciate the fine foods we’ve been provided with.”
I’ve never enjoyed the bitter tang of alcohol, but it seems sampling it is an important part of the customs. I stand and dip low over my glass before I fill it halfway.
Giggles carry from a couple of the nearby tables. People are still having fun despite all the strict rules. Hopefully the food will taste good.
“Oh!” another of the women pipes up. “We forgot to tell her how to handle the napkin. Before you set it on your lap, you need to pull it carefully over your hair to show that you don’t have anything unsavory on you.”
Humans spend a lot of time worrying about what’s on top of their heads. I run the soft cloth over the top of my hair and along the waves that course down my back and shoulders.
Just as I’m spreading the square of fabric on my lap, three waiters arrive with two plates each. They set them in front of us—mine with a heap of long, flat noodles with a pale sauce, the others with thick rounds of meat and a cluster of glazed vegetables.
Tansy flicks her fork toward my plate. “The linguine is simple. You raise one end of a noodle to your mouth andsuck the rest in as quickly as possible. The louder you are about it, the more it shows you’re enjoying the food.Wehave to fiddle around with knives and try to carve our steaks properly.”
She sighs as if this will be a tricky process.
My dish certainly sounds easier. I poke at the noodles with my fork to find an end, spear it, and raise it to my lips. With a deep slurp, I suction it into my mouth.
It’s delicious, a little sour but also creamy. As I chew, a vibe of merriment colors the air, more fruit punch than wine. Gloss and her friends grin at each other as they pop delicate morsels of meat into their mouths.
I offer a smile of my own and snag a second noodle. I’ve just finished sucking it between my lips when a full laugh breaks out at the table next to ours.
I glance over, curious to find out what the joke might be… and realize all the beings sitting there are watchingme. Some of them are chuckling, others covering their mouths as if horrified.
As I stare back at them, more guffaws break out across the cafeteria. Shadowkind at seats all around us are pointing my way and vibrating with hilarity.
My lips part in shock, and giggles burst out of Fleet. She claps her hand over her mouth, but when my head whips around, all the other women except Gloss appear to be fighting their own laughter.
Gloss merely arches her eyebrows at me with the same cool smile she gave me when I arrived at the table. “Thank you so much for that fantastic demonstration of ridiculousness.”
A blush scorches my cheeks. The renewed wave of snickers tells me my hair must have lit up with the emotion, but I’m already too embarrassed to care.
I thought—they acted like they were going to help me, however begrudgingly.
They tricked me, used their knowledge to manipulate me.
Just like?—
A queasier emotion brings me to my feet. I shove away from the table and power-walk to the cafeteria door.
It doesn’t matter if I’m messing up my fine dining practice even more. I need to get away from the taunts and hostility faster this time and simmer down before I come to a boil.
