Page 86 of Misfit Monsters
I grab her hand in a quick squeeze. “We’ll be able to hang out again soon. I’m glad you’ll have Brine to keep you company while I’m gone.”
Part of controlling my powers is knowing when to back away from a situation that’s stirring up unruly emotions, right?
I tell myself that, but parting ways with Fen at a split in the hall still feels like running off with my tail between my legs.
How can I be a good friend if I’m getting upset the second she makes a new one?
I don’t actually have any final preparations to make. Iwander aimlessly until I spot one of the sliding glass doors that leads to the building’s inner courtyard.
Most of the reform students are at breakfast. There are only a couple of beings lounging together on one of the benches, and a few others sitting cross-legged on the patio stones playing a game with shiny tokens.
I veer away from them toward the garden area at the other end of the courtyard. Amid the flowering bushes, I sink down on the firmly packed dirt and lean against the slim trunk of a small tree.
I draw my legs up to rest my chin on my knees. An ache I don’t totally understand spreads through my chest.
A burn of tears that makes even less sense forms behind my eyes. What’s wrong with this human-like body?
I squeeze my eyelids shut as if I can push the moisture back that way.
Everything is fine. We’ve made progress with our mission. My best friend is closer to moving up in the levels. I’m keeping my emotions in check right now, not letting them overwhelm me or burst out.
But I can’t stop myself from seeing Vim’s mocking sneer. Jonah’s uncomfortable expression yesterday when he explained that the way I make him feel is in violation of his job. The anger flashing in Hail’s eyes before he stormed off the other night, because I wouldn’t ignore the uneasiness I could tellhewas feeling.
I open my eyes again, trying to dismiss those memories, and the bushes in front of me rustle. A furry red face pokes between the leaves with ears perked.
The fox cocks his head at the sight of me and then leaps through the gap between the plants. He rolls onto his back with a whirl of his five tails like he’s a helicopter about to take off. With another flip, he flings himself right up into the air, seeming to actually hover for a few seconds.
Then he whips his body around so that he lands cushioned on those same tails with an immensely pleased expression.
A giggle breaks through the ache that’s gripping me. The animal offers a very foxy smile and ripples into Mirage’s human-like form, other than the furred ears above his human ones that he doesn’t bother to retract.
He tips his head to the side much like he did as a fox and speaks in a mischievous hush. “What are you doing hiding away in here, Rainbow? Some new sneaky mission?”
Another laugh bubbles up, but my tumultuous emotions stew around it.
I rub my face. “I needed a little time alone.”
Mirage’s smile vanishes. He moves to retreat. “I won’t bother?—”
“No.” I catch his sleeve before he can pull out of reach. “I’m glad you found me. Watching you play cheered me up.”
The fox shifter smiles again, but in a more subdued way than before. His ears flick away within his ruddy locks.
He lifts his hand to trail his fingers over my hair. “Why are you blue, Rainbow?”
My lips twitch with a hint of amusement at his phrasing, even though the question is serious. “No good reason. I guess I’m trying to figure that out. It feels like… like I know what I want to be doing in the world, but I have no idea how to do it. Nothing I try works.”
Mirage hums. He sits down by my side, facing me, and keeps twisting a strand of my hair into a corkscrew curl. “What do you want to be doing?”
“Making people feel good,” I say automatically. “Happy, safe, excited, proud… All those things.”
“And what makes you think that you’re not?”
An awkward flush creeps up my neck. “Other than my outbursts where I literally hurt people? I don’t see ithappening very much, and I do see people getting annoyed or upset with me.”
Mirage lets out a soft huff. “You don’t annoy me.”
I look over at him, meeting his bright brown eyes. “I did sometimes. You seemed irritated the first time I talked to you.”
