Page 491 of Shadowblood Souls
So many fragments of the past that add up to the woman I’ve always seen her as: strong and resilient, capable of both kindness and ferocity when they’re earned, full of so much love she’ll put her own life on the line again and again if it means the people she cares about get a chance to live theirs more freely.
And there are so many of us she cares about. Not just me and the other guys who grew up with her, but every one of the kids who came after us, the shadowkind who were willing to help us, the strangers she’s afraid Balthazar will hurt.
Her dreams have never been anything like his.
As I run out of fragments to share, I realize that Riva has finally relaxed into my embrace. Her temple rests against my jaw, her chin against my chest near the scar from the gunshot wound that nearly killed me.
The impression I get of her now is more settled than before, like a pensive contemplation. I can’t tell whether that contemplation is taking her in a good direction or a bad one—maybe she’s not sure herself yet.
“You know,” I add, my thoughts coming together as I put them into words, “the other thing I can say is that how you feel, how you’ve always felt, is so different from any of the people who’ve held us prisoner. And they all—the first guardians, Clancy, Balthazar… Even if they wanted somewhat different things or had different ways of getting at it, in the end they’re allthe same. Arrogant and resentful and rejecting any hint that they could be wrong… Even if he’s your father, Balthazar is way more like Clancy or our other jailers inside than he’s like you.”
Riva lets out a long, shaky sigh. “I don’t know how—I almost forgot what it was like, going through all that.”
I stroke my hand over her back beneath the water. “We’ve been jerked around a lot. It’s hard to hold on to a clear sense of yourself when you’re constantly being treated like you’re nothing but an object for other people to use.”
“Yeah. Butyoualways know.”
A rough laugh escapes me. “I know who the rest of you are. Me—that’s been trickier.”
Riva lifts her head to catch my gaze. The gleam in her eyes makes my heart skip a beat. “Thank you. There’s—there’s been something I’ve been feeling like I need, but I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was. I think I’ve figured it out.”
An easier smile tugs at my lips. “What’s that?”
She doesn’t answer with words. She just bobs up on her toes to kiss me.
Twenty-Nine
Riva
Griffin’s mouth sears against mine, a starker heat than the warmth of the water that surrounds us.
The certainty inside me grows. This is what I’ve needed, what I’ve sensed was missing. The last of my guys, the last of our group of six, with me in every way rather than lingering on the outside of the deeper bonds we’ve formed.
I don’t know why the urgency has come over me so intensely, why I was already craving this connection this early morning when Griffin wasn’t even in sight. But everywhere our skin touches, more need sparks.
The shadows in my veins dance with frantic anticipation.
I kiss him harder, slinging both of my arms around his neck. The water drips from my wrists, but it doesn’t matter if Balthazar hears us now.
It might even be better for him to eavesdrop on our intimate moment, as much as the thought disgusts me. Let him think thatour pool interlude was only about physical gratification and not about Griffin boosting my confidence to rebel against our captor.
Griffin makes a rough sound and nudges me up against the wall of the pool. My spine presses into the wet tiles, cold above the waterline and warm below.
The contrast sends a shiver through me that’s far from unpleasant. I lift my legs instinctively, tucking them around his waist and drawing him closer.
We’ve embraced like this before, by the waterfall on the island. We had more clothes between us then, of course.
The slide of wet skin against skin sharpens my desire. That and the feel of the rigid bulge in Griffin’s boxers, lining up against my panties.
I whimper into his mouth, and he exhales raggedly. One hand comes to rest on my thigh while the other delves into my hair, loosening my braid.
He rocks against me, sending pulses of bliss through my core. I can’t restrain myself from grinding my pussy into his erection in return, but I can’t see why I’d want to stop.
The friction of our movements brings a gasp to my lips and earns me a groan from Griffin. His head dips next to mine, his lips branding the crook of my neck.
It isn’t enough. I’m not looking for another hasty release through our clothes.
I want to feel all of him; feel him becoming a part of me and me a part of him.
