Page 473 of Shadowblood Souls
The words spill out of my mouth before he can say whatever he meant to. “I was a prick to you too, back on the island, at first.”
My brother lets out a quiet laugh. “Ideserved it. I definitely screwed up too.”
He gives my arm a squeeze. “No one’s angry with you. We’re in this together, and that means you as much as anyone.”
He isn’t lying. I’d know it if he was.
My throat constricts even tighter.
These guys—all of them—are my family. It isn’t just my love for Riva that’s swept away the emptiness that threatened to consume me but the other bonds that go far beyond basic friendship.
I swallow hard, but my voice comes out a little hoarse anyway. “I just—I wanted you all to know that Iamsorry. And how much getting through this mess with you matters to me. I wouldn’t be alive without you, and I’m going to damn well do my best to make sure you all make it out of whatever else we have to face too.”
Andreas grins. “I’ve never doubted that for a second. Now are you going to help us make some sandwiches or what?”
I give him a half-hearted glower, and laughter fills the room again. As I go to grab a loaf of bread, Riva tucks her arm around my waist and gives me a sideways hug.
And I know that no matter what Balthazar says, I have gotten better. I’ve remembered how to care again—about more people than just her.
Icanbe a proper friend to all of these guys now, like I couldn’t really before.
Even if I don’t know how yet, that fucker on the screen is going to pay for all his crimes, including trying to tear the only family I’ve ever known apart.
Twenty-Four
Riva
It’s easy. Ihatehow easy it is.
Several mice, two rabbits, a squirrel, and a ferret have lost their lives to a silent shriek in my head that doesn’t even require that I part my lips. When Matteo places a cage holding a tabby in front of the chair I’m locked into, my body balks even more emphatically than it did before.
I can’t help thinking of Lua, Griffin’s sweet cat that he was forced to leave behind in some unknown jungle near Clancy’s island. Is she surviving okay? Has she managed to trek to other people who’ve taken her in?
I like that imagined version of reality better than the one that seems more likely—that the guardians abandoned her to become a tiger’s dinner.
No part of me wants to be responsible for ending this other cat’s life. It peers at me through the bars of its cage and lets out a piteous meow.
I lift my gaze to meet Matteo’s through the transparent pane that separates us. “No. Haven’t you seen enough?”
He smiles, his eyes gleaming with barely suppressed excitement. “But you’ve been doing so well! You did want to make sure you can control your impulses, didn’t you? Practice seems to be the best way of ensuring that.”
How can he look so fucking happy—almostgiddy—about slaughtering innocent animals by the dozen?
Frustration stabs through me, and my power vibrates in my throat. A spike of the vicious energy quivers through my thoughts.
I do have some control—enough to yank my attention away from Balthazar’s flunky before I hurthim. Because God only knows what agony he’d inflict on my guys if I slipped up that much.
But a soundless blare of my pain-seeking hunger spills out of me anyway, latching on to the only other available target.
The cat flinches and yelps. Its leg twists at an impossible angle.
My stomach lurches. I twist in the chair and gag over the bucket Matteo set there after the first time I puked during this “training” session.
There’s nothing left in my stomach to come up. I only sputter a little sour acid.
Matteo tsks his tongue with an air of droll chiding that pisses me off even more on top of my anger with myself for lashing out accidentally. He didn’t even inject me with his special serum this time, so I can’t blame any chemical compliancy.
What I do here is totally up to me. That’s the point. He wants to see how far he can make me go.
