Page 445 of Shadowblood Souls
But it’s not the only sensation swaying me now. It’s not even the loudest.
Balthazar has slammed me back into full awareness like the impact of a speeding locomotive.
I do love Dom, with everything in me. I don’t know what I wouldn’t give to see life light up in his face, to hear his voice, to receive his smile.
There’s more love in me than there is anger, even if the rage drowned it out for a little while.
Is this how Jacob felt, the way he cracked, when he saw the train hurtling along the tracks toward me?
The hollow emptiness with its caustic simmer before… is that how he spent four whole years? After just days of it, I already ache all over.
I lift my head and swipe at the tears that have trickled over my cheeks. Balthazar gazes at me with an expectant air that sets off another flare of anger.
Not enough to change the answer I have to give, though.
I glare back at him. “Fine. I’m in. What do you want us to steal for you?”
Sixteen
Riva
The rattle of the tracks shakes my nerves, jostling free memories I’d rather not dwell on. In the back of my mind, a different train roars toward me in the night.
I’m not sure the echo of that old hopelessness is the worst of the memories. Other fragments rise up of the early days on the run with my guys before they started to trust me again, when every word I spoke and action I made was met with wary glances or hostile remarks.
We’re stowed away in a cargo car just like some of those times, crouched in the darkness between stacks of crates. Across from me, barely visible in the dim light that flickers through the partly open doorway, Jacob’s mouth is set in a tight line.
Is he remembering those past journeys too?
Andreas has hunkered down next to me. He takes my hand in his and runs his fingers lightly over my knuckles.
The affectionate gesture adds a jab of pain to the turmoil that’s been stewing inside me since Balthazar offered his deal.There’s so much I need to say, but I’m afraid if I start, it’ll all spill out too fast, too awkwardly.
Griffin watches us from where he’s leaning against a crate near the door. He’s got to sense the roaring whirl of emotion I’m holding in, but he hasn’t said anything about it.
He wouldn’t. He’s always given me the space to decide how much I want to say and when.
Zian paces from one end of the car to the other, the floor creaking under his massive frame. “Should we get closer and scope things out? We don’t even know exactly what we’re dealing with yet.”
Jacob raises his head. “Balthazar seemed pretty sure about how well the secure car will be guarded. I don’t think we should risk getting close until it’s almost time to act.”
Andreas leans forward to peer through the gap at the landscape whipping by outside. We’re passing a stretch of warehouses now, security lamps washing over the tracks with a faint yellow glow.
“A little ways past this city, we should go by that smaller town,” he says. “It’s about a half hour after that when we’ll be in the ideal position to reach our pick-up vehicle.”
I drag all my attention to the task in front of us. “A half an hour sounds like a good amount of time to check things out and then take action. Once we’re on the attack, we’ll need to move quickly.”
Jake nods. “After the town, we move. We only need to go a few cars ahead. We can get there pretty quickly.”
As long as we’re not spotted beforehand. As long as we don’t stumble on any protective measures we aren’t prepared for.
Balthazar wasn’t sure all of us would make it back alive.
The last of the buildings on the fringes of the city give way to open fields. It’s a matter of minutes before we reach the town now.
If I’m going to say something, it has to be soon.
I close my eyes and reach through the chaos inside me to the one feeling that’s kept me steady over the past couple of days. The thrum of love, swelling to overwhelm the fear and anger when I picture Dominic’s eyes opening, his quiet smile curving his lips.
