Page 275 of Shadowblood Souls
Could that really have all been an act?
It doesn’t need to have been, does it? Other shadowkind working under Rollick tried to kill us in spite of his protection before.
Maybe they were less scared of our younger counterparts—maybe they jumped in and murdered the kids before he realized they were rebelling against his orders.
We gave those kids freedom—for what? A few minutes? And then…
Guilt congeals in my gut. I grapple with the nausea churning inside me.
“That doesn’t meanyouwere right,” I say roughly. “The things you put us through, everything you forced us to do…”
All the anguish I’ve witnessed on my guys’ faces and heard in their voices as they talked about the four years we were apart, even worse than the time before. The four years whenIwas stuck fighting for my life every week and in shackles every other hour of the day, because the guardians sold me off.
At least the shadowkind didn’t torture the kids.
“I haven’t had much control over your training,” Clancy says. “It took time before I really had a voice, and more time for everyone involved to listen. I don’t agree with everything you’ve endured. But it’s toughened you to withstand the worst the villains out there can throw at you.”
I scowl at the training equipment below. “And what are we doing here? More toughening up?”
Clancy’s voice softens. “I don’t think training needs to be torturous. You’ve already had enough of that. The five of you are more than prepared to go out into the field already. We’d only go through exercises designed to confirm you have specific skills needed for a given mission—and that you’re committed to seeing it through. As well as some exercises for increasing your control over your powers.”
My gaze jerks to him with a jolt of surprise. The whole reason we turned to the shadowkind to begin with was for help harnessing our supernatural abilities.
“Youknowhow to help us control them? Better than we learned before?”
“Your past keepers were mainly concerned with provoking as much ability out of you as possible, not reining it in. My colleagues who’ve supported my cause and I have developed some strategies that appear to help with focus and moderation.”
So I could make sure I only let out my scream when it was deserved? Modulate it to decide how much to hurt, whether to kill?
The guys have been struggling with the wilder side of their abilities too. We’ve all been longing for this.
Clancy studies me. “It wouldn’t take very long before you could start making a difference—a real one, for the people who need it most.”
I don’t like the lump that’s risen in my throat. But the photos he showed me mean I have even more to make up for than I knew before.
If I can believe anything he says.
I cross my arms. “You said there were three founding families. I guess Ursula Engel was part of one of those, and she got pushed out. Did you manage to convince… your parents? And whoever the other founders are to go along with all this?”
Clancy’s mouth slants at an uncomfortable angle. “My parents passed away in the last few years, and their other co-founder stepped away during their illnesses with his own concerns. It’s become clear he won’t be returning. The direction of the Guardianship rests solely in my hands now.”
I can’t claim his idea sounds like a totally horrible direction, at least not if he’s telling the truth. That doesn’t mean I’m going to leap to sign up.
“And if we don’t commit to your missions?”
He offers a slight shrug. “Then you’ll be confined to your room and contribute with the tests we’ll run on you, physically and mentally. I’d imagine getting out into the world and taking matters into your own hands will be more satisfying, but the choice is up to you.”
Do things his way or go back to being a total prisoner. Such fantastic options.
I hold in my snark, my hand rising instinctively to my necklace. My fingers tug out the cat-and-yarn shape and curl around it.
The feel of it against my skin makes me glance toward the other man standing on the ledge with me—the one who gave this necklace to me years ago.
Griffin hasn’t said a word since we came out. He stands there under the warm sunlight, his stance easy but his expression just as blank as it’s been since I first saw him.
What would it take to get a real reaction from him?
I raise the pendant so the light flashes off it. “I’ve held on to your necklace all this time. It helped me get through a lot.”
