Page 129 of Shadowblood Souls
Zian goes on in my silence. “I’m so sorry, Riva. I should have been better. I shouldn’t have trusted anything the guardians said. You were always there for us, doing everything for us—I am nevergoing to forget that again.”
I stare at the massive man kowtowing his apology to me for several beats of my heart before I can even process what’s happening.
He isn’t horrified. My confession has made himmoreregretful?
“Zee,” I say softly, and don’t know how to go on. My heart is aching as much with the memory of times he snapped at me as with the anguish he’s expressing now.
He hasn’t so much as lifted his head, as if he’s waiting for some kind of judgment. My hand reaches out of its own accord toward the short tufts of his silky black hair.
My fingertips graze the top of his head, and Zian jerks away from my touch. Just an inch, but enough of a rejection that I yank my hand back.
“Sorry,” he mutters to the floor. “Sorry. I?—”
“It’s okay,” I say before he can go on. I’d rather not hear him explain why he’s so adverse to me touching him.
He regrets a lot of things, clearly, but that doesn’t mean he wants to get cozy with me either.
Zian eases up a little, his dark eyes searching mine. They’re stormy, but lit with enough hope to send the ache in my chest jabbing even deeper.
I fumble for a fuller answer. “We’ve been through a lot. All of us. I don’t really know where we go from here. But I’m not asking for anything.”
At this point, I know better than to ask for anything.
Zee pushes upright, looking as if he’s not totally satisfied with that answer but uncertain about what he would want instead.
By the door, Dominic draws himself a little straighter, his expression tightening. “You used the power at Engel’s house. Are you sure… Are you sure you can control itnow?”
Heobviously isn’t. And that’s fair—that’s closer to the reaction I was expecting.
I set my chin on my knees again. “No. That’s why I want to understand everything Engel told us. How she made us—what she made us out of. I was hoping I could get rid of it, but if I can’t, then there’s got to be a way to at least rein it in more.”
Ursula Engel admitted that she’d created us by combining human DNA with the essence of what she called “monsters.” Maybe something on her laptop or phone will help us understand exactly what that means.
“We’ve all had issues with our talents getting away from us,” Andreas says, but his tone is still wary.
When the rest of them lose control, none of them risks putting the rest of us through indescribable torture.
"It was only that one moment,” I can’t help replying. “There were other times when I could have used it, when it wanted me to let it loose, and I kept it under wraps. Idecidedto use it in Engel’s house, because it was either that or we died.”
“And it was fucking amazing.” Jacob pushes to his feet, his penetrating stare sliding over the other guys. In the faint light with that resolute stance, he looks like a warrior guardian angel, just missing the wings.
He jabs his forefinger toward me. After the past couple of weeks, I can’t restrain a wince even though his frown obviously isn’t directed my way.
“Riva gave the pricks everything they deserved,” he says fiercely. “She threw all the pain they’ve put us through back at them, right where it belongs. And she didn’t give us so much as a papercut in the process. So don’t any of you dare act like she’s anything but a goddamned superhero.”
I blink at him, startled speechless for the second time in minutes. How the hell did the guy who’s been going out of his way to bully me at every opportunity suddenly become my biggest supporter?
Is he really, or is his attitude going to turn on a dime with the next shift in the wind?
The corner of Zian’s mouth kicks up with a hint of a smile. “It was pretty spectacular watching them all go down.”
Andreas tips his head to me. “We’ll find answers—for all of us.”
Dominic’s attention has been drawn away by something beyond the door. He leans toward it before glancing back at us.
“We’re coming up on the first junction. We wanted to switch trains here, right?”
“Yes.” Jacob snatches up the laptop he cast aside. “The more times we divert course, the harder it’ll be for the guardians to track us.”
