Page 594 of Shadowblood Souls
I stand for a moment next to the bed, balking at the thought of bringing myself back into sight. Of having to tell her that my skills can’t conquer every horrible thing Balthazar did.
We’ve had so many disappointments in the past few weeks. I just want her to feel something good.
And maybe I need that too.
Gingerly, I lay myself down on the bed behind her. Riva starts to roll over, and I catch her with my hand on my waist.
“Just stay there a moment,” I murmur by her ear.
She doesn’t just follow my instructions—she relaxes against me at the sound of my voice. Because she trusts me that much.
So much affection swells in my chest that for a few seconds, I can’t move. Then I trail my invisible fingers over her cheek and down her neck, as if she’s being caressed by a ghost.
Her crisply sweet scent fills my nose. I tuck my head against hers, breathing it in through her braided hair.
When I reach her chest, Riva lets out a soft noise of encouragement. I tease my fingertips over the slope of her breast and down to the hem of her shirt.
It’s easy to slide my hand under the fabric to touch her warm skin beneath. I stroke my fingers back and forth across her belly, working my way up to the band of her bra.
There’s a little thrill in knowing that even if someone walked in on us now, they’d have no idea what I’m doing for her. All they’d see is Riva lying here and a slight rumpling of her clothing.
I circle my thumb over her nipple through the thin cup of her bra, my pulse kicking up a notch as I feel it pebble with the pressure. A little growl escapes Riva’s throat.
She rolls toward me, and this time I don’t stop her. Her hand comes to rest on my shoulder, my invisibility making her fingers look as if they’re hovering in mid-air.
She drums her fingers against my skin through my sweater. “Come back. I like it better when I can see you.”
I nuzzle her cheek. “But isn’t this fun?”
Her hand rises to trace the line of my jaw, her eyes managing to find mine even though she’s looking right through them. “Sure. But it’s even more fun when you’re completely here with me. And I know—you shouldn’t strain your abilities just for this.”
The last thing I want is for her to feel guilty. I draw myself back into visibility with a faint prickling over my skin and offer her a wry smile. “After the next few days, it won’t matter thatmuch if I disappear anyway. Who needs the guy who’s all about holding on to the past when it’s time to carve out a new future?”
I meant the comment to be a joke, but I can hear it land flat even before Riva’s face falls. She twines her fingers into the tight curls of my hair and tugs me a little closer so the tip of her nose grazes mine.
“Don’t you ever say that,” she says fiercely. “Don’t you ever eventhinkthat we don’t need you.”
I choke up and have to grope for my voice to reply. “I was kidding. I’m not going anywhere.”
But maybe there was a little part of me preparing that I might have to stretch my abilities that far—too far to come back from.
Riva scoots closer, aligning her smaller body against mine as if she needs my heat like she does air. “Drey—when everything was screwed up and none of you knew what to believe, you were the first one to see who I really was. The first who decided to trust me over the guardians.That’swho you are. If you remember anything, I want it to be that.”
I wrap my arm around her and hug her to me. She’s right, isn’t she?
If it hadn’t been for me—if I hadn’t been there—who knows how bad that disaster would have gotten? Whether any of us would have made it this far?
“I just… I wish I could help by giving them something instead of taking it away.”
Riva’s breath tickles across my skin with her voice. “Maybe you can. Maybe you can show them the good memories the rest of us had that they were a part of, once we know they’re ready.” She brushes her thumb across my cheek. “Are you going to tell me how it went?”
I can’t really avoid it any longer. I hold on to the woman I love and steady myself for the story I have to tell her tonight. “There’s some good and some bad…”
And even as the words come out, I can’t help thinking, isn’t every part of life like that? We make the best of what we can, just like everyone else in this messy but incredible world.
Twenty-Eight
Riva
