Page 328 of Shadowblood Souls
He doesn’t want to let go of us. And not because he cares aboutusall that deeply, it’s clear.
Because we’re the key to his grand master plan, and he can’t carry it out properly without us. We’re tools he’s counting on putting to use.
He hasn’t shown any concern about what I might be going through that I’d want to ask that question. Any sign thatmyhappiness matters at all to him beyond carrying out his goals.
Has he ever? Or was I so caught up in the idea of fixing everything that’s gone wrong, making a better future for us all in alignment with his vision, that I never paid enough attention before?
“I want to do what’s best for all of us,” I say, an answer that’s both true and that I know he’ll accept.
Clancy gives me a tight smile. “I’m glad to hear that. Don’t worry about this whole situation anymore. Or about Riva. She just needs time to fully grasp the bigger picture.”
He leaves without checking if there’s anything else I hoped to ask him. The door clicks shut behind him.
Clicks shut and locks, because I’m never allowed to go looking forhim.
For a few minutes, I stand in the same place, running my fingers over Lua’s back and under her chin, gazing at the door without really seeing it.
This facility and the missions carried out from it were built off Clancy’s vision… but they wouldn’t have happened without me. Without me, I doubt any of the guardians stood a chance of catching up with my former friends, let alone capturing them.
At the time I was sure I’d made the right decision. That it really was best for them and me as well as him.
I have no gut feeling to guide me, no innate sense of whether these are the results I should have expected, but fuck, do I wish I did.
What if I’ve actually screwed up our lives all over again?
Eighteen
Riva
The low, thin voice reaches my ears as I secure the last pieces of my climbing gear.
“Riva? That’s your name, right?”
I glance around at the same time as Dominic does where he was gearing up a few feet away from me—more carefully to work around his tentacles.
A slim boy in his early teens has approached us, so quietly I didn’t notice him coming. The bright afternoon sun gleams off the rounded planes of his dark face and the stubble of even darker hair over his scalp.
His intent gaze is fixed on me. I recognize him from seeing him here and there around the facility, but we’ve never spoken before.
I tip my head in acknowledgment. “Yeah, I’m Riva. Are you going to climb too? There’s room for three on the course.”
He steps closer with a flick of his eyes toward one of the guardians stationed at the edge of the jungle around the climbing site. His voice lowers so it’s barely a murmur.
“Andreas told me I should let the Firsts know if I picked up anything that might give us a way out. I caught something from a guardian at breakfast—the supply helicopter is coming right after the last dinner shift tonight.”
Understanding clicks in my head: this is the kid Drey mentioned to me, the one who can read thoughts, just a little. Ajax—that was the name he said.
I push a smile onto my face, keeping it as relaxed as possible for the sake of the watching guardians. “Thank you for the heads up. We might check out the course after we’re done here.”
Ajax’s mouth twitches upward with a faint smile of his own, accepting the cover story I’ve offered. “I figured you’d want to hear about it,” he says, and turns to go.
I meet Dominic’s gaze and find it even more pensive than usual. He pauses and then nods to the cliffside in front of us. “We’d better get climbing.”
We can’t really talk while we’re scaling the rocky surface. I push myself faster than usual both in anticipation of the conversation to come and to let the burn of the exertion focus my thoughts.
Of course, that means I reach the ledge partway up the cliff well before Dominic does. I brace my feet on it and lean my weight against the cliffside as I give him time to catch up, rolling my shoulders.
The guardians won’t think there’s anything strange about us taking a brief break here. That’s the whole reason they included the ledge, even if on my own I’d clamber right past it.
