Page 320 of Shadowblood Souls
“Nah, mostly it’s boring—or I can’t even make sense of it. But yours have gotten me curious.” He pauses with a swift glance toward the guardians below. The only one in view isn’t even facing us at the moment.
Ajax drops his voice even lower. “You really think we could leave?”
I grip one of the ropes, my mouth going dry. Can I trust this kid?
For all I know, he could turn tail and inform Clancy of anything I tell him.
I measure out my words. “Anything’s possible. Why—are you thinking you’d want to?”
The boy gives a barely perceptible shrug. “I know a lot of ‘em like it here. But there’s someone who matters a lot to me that I hardly ever get to see. Back in the old facility, we were together every day.”
My mouth tightens in a grimace. I can understand his frustration too well. “That sucks.”
“Yeah. And it’s not much fun being stuck around the guardians with the way they think about us anyway.”
Ajax lifts his head, and I let myself meet his dark brown gaze. “I just wanted to say… If you find a way, I want in.”
He doesn’t sound like a schemer trying to manipulate me into a confession. He sounds like a nervous but hopeful kid.
I study him for a moment, slipping through his skull into his memories.
I see him sitting on his own in a corner, wincing at the insult that tumbles out of a guardian’s mind into his head. I see him waving goodbye to a group of other kids, his other hand clenched, as he’s escorted out of a facility’s training room.
Emotions don’t come through with my talent, not directly, but I can sense how unhappy he was in those memories from the feel of his body.
I pull back out and re-focus on him here in the present. “I’m just… considering my options. But if you pick up on any thoughts that might help with that goal, even a little, you should let me or one of the other Firsts know ASAP.” I hesitate. “Well, any of the firsts other than Griffin.”
Ajax makes a face. “He’s always with Clancy anyway. What’s his deal?”
I wish I had a better answer. “I don’t know. He wasn’t like that before.”
I don’t want to linger any longer in conversation in case the guardians take notice. Ajax turns toward a net-like configuration of ropes, and I set off along another path of hanging boards.
An ache has formed in the pit of my stomach. It isn’t just Riva and my friends counting on me.
I’ve just given that kid a reason to hope. I need to have something more for him the next time we talk.
I’ve scaled most of the course when one of the guardians calls up that it’s time for lunch. Ajax has already left, and I don’t see him again on my way to the mountain facility.
They switch up our shifts and never let us know when we’ll see each other again specifically to make it harder for us to plan anything. They pretend it’s freedom, but really it’s just another kind of cage.
As I’m climbing the steps to the mountainside entrance, Clancy himself appears. He gives me a brisk nod and gazes out over the training grounds for a moment before returning inside.
I have to take off the sunglasses once I step into the facility to avoid raising suspicions, but I can’t resist fixing my gaze on him while I follow him down the hall. Imagine all the useful information that’s tucked insidehismemories.
But I only glimpse a fancy dinner someplace that’s got to be nowhere near the island, with crystal chandeliers and people in tuxedos and evening gowns, and then a fragment of a childhood elementary-school test. Before I can dig any farther, a guardian steps out of the cafeteria ahead of me.
I jerk my gaze away, hoping she didn’t notice me using my talent. When she doesn’t say anything, only motions me inside, I exhale softly in relief.
Even if the quest feels pointless, I have to keep trying. Giving updefinitelywon’t get us anywhere.
As subtly as I can manage, I flit through the memories of the guardian standing near the buffet table while I grab a hamburger, fries, and salad for my lunch. Clancy yelled at him one time for showing up late to his post, but I don’t see how that could factor into our plans.
Keep trying, keep trying, keep trying.
My lack of progress makes it hard to appreciate seeing Zian walk into the room. How much of a friend am I if I can’t get us closer to freedom?
Freedom he needs even more than I do.
