Page 212 of Shadowblood Souls
“You’ve got it, Tink,” he murmurs. “You’ve got all of me.”
The armor I’ve built up must have cracked, because the declaration sinks right into me. And I believe him.
I stroke my thumb across his cheekbone. Then I stand up on wobbly legs, not entirely sure what happens next, but knowing this is my story now.
My soap opera. My melodrama.
I might still be hurting, but I can feel more than that. I want tobemore than that.
I tug Andreas up by the collar of his dress shirt. He peers at me, uncertain.
The lilting music is still winding around us. So I say, “Dance with me.”
Twenty-Three
Riva
Dancing with Andreas is the strangest feeling. Like a war is being waged inside me.
The mark he gave me tickles eagerly. My nerves clamor to push closer against him.
My muscles tense in resistance, not ready to let go of the wariness I’ve held on to for so long.
He’s tense too, holding himself a careful distance away from me, never stepping any nearer. One of his hands rests on my waist so lightly I can barely feel the pressure.
The warmth of it blooms across my skin anyway.
His fingers twine loosely with mine, leaving the way open for me to pull away if I need to. As we turn in a slow circle with the elegant tune, he gazes down at me.
No red sheen colors his eyes now. I think he’s watching for the slightest sign that I’ve changed my mind, that he’s overstayed his welcome.
The silence between us starts to weigh on me.
“I liked all of the dresses,” I tell him. “It was hard to pick. This one just felt the most right for how I’m feeling at the moment.”
A hint of a smile touches his lips. “I’m glad. It was hard to know—I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in any dress. Or with your hair up like that. Was that Pearl’s idea?”
I laugh awkwardly. “I just let her do whatever she wanted.”
“She did a good job. You look stunning. I could hardly breathe when you first walked in.” He pauses, and his voice dips. “I can hardly breathe now.”
I squeeze his hand instinctively and hear him swallow. “I don’t know… I don’t know if I totally forgive you yet. There are pieces of me that still hurt. They might for a long time.”
“That’s okay,” Andreas says quickly. “I wasn’t pushing for anything. I just—doing this was the only thing I could think of that came close to showing you how much you mean to me.”
A lump rises in my throat. “I like the party a lot too.”
His lips curve into a clearer smile. “Good. That’s what matters the most.”
Behind the anguish and the fear that I’ll pull away after all, I can see the boy he used to be in his face. The Drey who’d always have a wry remark to break through a tense moment and a story to tell to lift us out of darker thoughts.
He had four years to marinate in the lies about me. To watch his friends struggling with their new talents and their grief, unable to help them.
Would I really have held on to my faith in my guys if the guardians had told me a similar story before they’d shipped me off? If they’d claimed that Griffin and I had been caught because one of the others had turned on us?
I don’t really know. I’d like to say I would have, but I wouldn’t have thought I could slaughter an entire arena of strangers either.
The truth is, I want to forgive Andreas. I want to sink into the sense that we belong together, that we’ll stand by each other, and leave the pain behind.
