Page 30 of Never Been Gargoyled
We stood there for a moment, two monsters contemplating the mystery of female hearts.
“What have you tried so far with your Dazy?” he asked.
“She's not my…” I stopped. Was she? “I helped her with yard work yesterday.”
“I heard somewhere that women like useful males.”
I paused, thinking about that. “Do they?”
“My mother always said so. I’m sure she was talking about hauling lumber and fixing roofs, but maybe it applies to other things too.”
“I could fix things around the estate for Dazy. Haul lumber if she has the need.”
“That could work.” He seemed pleased with this development. “What else?”
“I kissed her.”
His eyebrows rose. “You dared?”
My face overheated. “It sort of just happened.”
He nodded seriously. “How'd that go?”
“She kissed me back.”
“You’re sure?”
“I wouldn’t kiss her without her permission,” I barked. But had I asked? I couldn’t remember.
I wasn’t one of those grope-without-asking-first-gargoyles, was I? Unease churned through my guts.
“If you’ve progressed to kisses, you may not be as hopeless as you seem.”
“Maybe. I don't know what to do next.”
The orc stroked his chin thoughtfully. “I read somewhere that women like flowers.”
Dazy sure did love gardening. Why hadn’t I thought of that? “What kind do you think works best for courtship?”
“Whatever’s blooming, I guess. Dandelions when there’s nothing else.”
“Dandelions are weeds.” I’d used the wacky weeder on a lot of them yesterday.
“I think the point is to give her something.”
“I want to buy her bread. You don’t think that’s enough?”
He grunted. “You’re asking me? I told you I haven’t even spoken with the female I’ve got an eye on yet.” He scanned the offerings. “What would you like to get for Dazy?”
“She loves sweets.” I glared at all the not-sweet bread.
“A healthy appetite speaks well of her. I have just what you need.” He went out to the kitchen and returned with a white box. “She was here before. Liked some of this stuff, which I don’t understand. So I made more. Incase she came back. No other reason.” He handed me the box over the counter. “I tried chocolate croissants and cinnamon rolls this time. Bring these to her and she’ll think you a hero.”
“Will she?”
“As if I know?”
Tucking the box under my arm, I nodded slowly. “I’ve tried talking with her. Dazy, that is. But I worry I’ll say the wrong thing.”
