Page 50 of Our Big White Lie
“Then don’t, sweetie.” He squeezed my shoulders. “Ava wouldn’t want you to do something like this if it’s tearing you apart.”
“But I’m the one who suggested it.” I sniffed and wiped my eyes, not that it was doing much good. “This was all my idea, and if I bail, it’ll hurt Ava, and it’ll hurt Gail, and…” I tried to keep from falling apart again, but it was a losing battle. “I don’t want to hurt Ava. I don’t want to disappoint Gail. But pretending to marry Ava when I wish I was marrying her for real…” I covered my mouth with a shaking hand as tears started rolling down my cheeks.
He gathered me in a tight hug. For a long moment, he just let me cry.
When I’d finally pulled myself together enough to speak, I drew back, glancing at the venue and praying that Ava didn’t get curious and come looking for me. Praying that no one did. It was bad enough being this much of a wreck in front of Marco. Through my tears, I said, “If this were a normal wedding, and I wanted to cancel it or postpone it, I know people wouldn’t be mad at me. Or they’d understand. But Gail…”
Marco winced, and he nodded slowly. “I know.” After a moment, he brushed a tear off my cheek and gently said, “Listen to me, okay? Ava is your best friend in the world. You’re doing all this for her because you love her and care about her, right?”
I nodded as fresh tears threatened to fall.
“Okay, well, she loves you too, you know? And do you really think that woman—that amazing friend of yours—would want you to go through all these motions if she knew they were tearing you apart?”
I dropped my gaze. “No. But… how do I tell her?” I wiped my eyes again, my hand trembling badly. “Because the reason I want to call it off…” I pushed out a ragged breath. “I don’t want to ruin my friendship with her.”
“I don’t think you will, hon. I really don’t.”
What I wouldn’t have given for his confidence.
I shakily wiped my eyes again. “I never should have suggested this. I should’ve known it would come back to bite me. I just… didn’t think it would be because I was too in love with Ava to go through with it.”
“Honey.” Marco pulled me back into a hug. Stroking my hair, he murmured, “I think the only two people in the world who didn’t know you were in love with Ava were you and Ava.”
That drew a watery laugh out of me. “Maybe.”
“And I would bet money,” he said, loosening my embrace, “that you’re both also too clueless to realize she’s in love with you.”
I drew back and met his gaze. “What?”
He stared at me. Then he huffed and rolled his eyes. “Oh, Jesus Christ. It’s literally the night before your wedding—fake or not—and youstillhaven’t caught on?”
I stared at him.
Marco raised an eyebrow. He inclined his head. “Seriously?”
“What?” I shrugged. “All she’s ever wanted to be is friends!”
He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned. “God. Tori. I swear, you’re one of the smartest people I know.” Dropping his hand, he eyed me. “But when it comes to realizing—like, how are you two so stupid about each other?”
I blinked. “But we’re… I mean…”
“Honey. That’s half the reason I didn’t try very hard to talk you out of this. I figured nothing would get your attention about how you feel about each other than…” He flailed a hand to encompass our surroundings. “I mean, if that’s what it takes? Getting your dumbasses to the altar in wedding dresses? Then let’s do it.” He sighed. “I wasn’t sure how else you two would finally catch a clue about each other.”
I had no idea what to say. Was he really suggesting… Did he think she was…
“Listen,” he said. “Why don’t I go get her and have her come out here? You two need to talk about things before tomorrow. One way or the other, you need to be on the same page. And… I think you’re closer to that page than you think.”
God, I wished I could believe him. But if Ava really felt something for me, wouldn’t she have said something by now?
He was right that we needed to talk, though. If nothing else, I had to be honest with her.
“Okay,” I said. “Would you, um, mind going and getting her?” I gestured at my face. “I really don’t want to go back in there looking like this.”
“Of course.” He paused. “And look, if I’m somehow wrong and she doesn’t feel the same way about you, she’s your best friend. She’s been here longer than I have, and she’s closer to you than anyone.” He squeezed my arm. “You don’t think your friendship is strong enough to weather this?”
I almost fell apart again. “Yeah, I think it is. I’m just not sure I’m strong enough to tell her I love her and hear her say she doesn’t.”
Marco gathered me into yet another hug as some more sobs broke free.
