Page 10 of Oops Baby for the Rockstar
Just exhausted by life and, you know, pining over a rock star.
Every spare moment, my brain goes over that night with Jett… and that morning when I snuck out. Replaying the best bits over and over again, then kicking myself for not making different choices.
If I’d woken him up in the morning and confessed to all my lies, would he have laughed and forgiven me? Or would he have been angry and tossed me out anyway?
It’s relentless. Jett has been on my mind non-stop for the last three months, so it’s no wonder I’m tired all the time. I’m like Patty’s laptop when it gets overheated on the crew bus, the little fan whirring extra loud as it begs for a break. A hard reset.
“I really think you should eat something.”
Patty digs a granola bar out of the back pocket of her jeans, then pushes it into my hands. It’s gone all smushed and lumpy from being warmed by her body, and it’s a sweet gesture, but my stomach lurches.
“Oh.” One hand claps over my mouth, and I shove the granola bar back at my bestie. “Sorry, I can’t. Oh, god.”
Patty stares, open mouthed, as I breathe slowly in through my nose and then blow it out through my mouth, trying not to gag. Yeah, that’s another thing. My stomach has been really sensitive lately, with the scent of some foods making me want to vomit. Others—like egg mayo—I’ve been craving like an alley cat. Seriously, I’ve eaten more egg sandwiches in the last three months than in my whole life before.
“How are your boobs?” Patty blurts, poking the left one with an accusing finger.
“Ow!” I bat her away, one hand still clapped over my mouth. “That hurt!”
“Because they’re tender?”
“Because you poked me!”
“But are they more sensitive than usual?” She prods me again, snaking past my waving hand. “All swollen and painful?”
“Ow! Yes! So? My period is probably coming.”
The words are barely out of my mouth before I turn to stone, pressed back against the gnarled bark of the tree. It’s a warm, sunny morning in the park, but I’m suddenly deathly cold. Pattywatches me, her mouth twisted in sympathy, because yeah, my best friend realized before I did.
But how did I not notice that I’ve missed my period for the last three months? Have I been so wrapped up in thoughts of Jett that I forgot something that huge?
In a word: yes. Yes, I have.
“Shit.”
I sag against the tree trunk, dizzy with dismay.
Pregnant.I can’t be pregnant after having a single night of sex in my whole life. I can’t be pregnant with a famous rock star’s baby. That sort of thing doesn’t happen to people like me.
Or maybe it does. Maybe that’s how we wind up in ancient, leaky trailers, bickering over the electric bill.
“We’ll get you a test.” Patty whips out her phone, typing something in her notes. She’s all business now, a commanding general, and I’ve never been more grateful for her. “I’ll run into town on our lunch break. Hell, I’ll get two tests. We need to double check in case you really are just sick.”
Would that be better? I don’t know.
“And I’ll pick up some prenatal vitamins and all that crap while I’m out there. Unless…” Patty bites her lip and looks up from her phone. “Do we need to make you an appointment somewhere? You don’t have to keep it, Tams. If you really are, you know,that… you have other options.”
I sway back against the tree, too hot and muddled to think straight. Is that what I should do? Is that what I’d want? It’s the smart option, no doubt about it, but… something in my chest cracks at the thought.
I’ve never had a family. Not really.Can I bring myself to end this one before it’s begun?
“I’ll think about it,” I whisper. I have time to think about it, right? How far along am I? Twelve weeks?
Oh, god. Maybe this isn’t really happening. Maybe I ate a bad burrito or something and my body hasn’t recovered yet. Or maybe these last few months have all been a vivid bad dream, and I’m about to roll over and wake up to find Jett Santana grinning at me and playing with my hair, pre-dawn light seeping through the hotel room curtains.
“On our lunch break,” Patty promises, sliding her phone back into her pocket. “Then you can be sure.”
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