“Almost, yes. Do you want to hear the heartbeat?”
There’s a lump in my throat, but I nod.Yes.
“More than anything,” I say gruffly.
“It’s pretty cool,” Willa says as the doctor squeezes gel on her bare belly. She shivers. “Literally cool.”
I reach out and take her hand as the doc moves a wand, attached to a handheld Doppler device, over Willa’s skin. There’s a whoosh, then a thump-thump.
“Is that?—”
“No, that’s me,” Willa says, laughing.
“Too slow,” adds the doc.
I clear my throat. “Still cool.”
There’s more whooshing, and then?—
Oh.
Thudda thudda thudda thudda thudda.
“That’s fast.” I look at the doctor in alarm. “Is that normal?”
“Very. 150 beats per minute.”
I lift Willa’s fingers to my mouth. “Wow,” I breathe against her skin. “Thank you.”
She stares at me.
I know I need to let her go, but I can’t.
I hold her gaze and kiss her fingertips.
“Thank you,” I repeat softly.
The doctor turns away, then returns with a cloth to wipe Willa’s belly.
Shame roils through me at the memory of how I wanted to wipe off her belly that night on the terrace.
At how much I enjoyed painting her with my seed.
And at least some of that stayed inside her and took hold.
She’s twenty.
Fucking fertile as hell.
And I fucked her bare, because she felt like heaven and I wanted her around me.
I wanted to be inside her, nothing between us.
I only pulled out at the last second because I knew I should.
Then I went to get a washcloth, and she disappeared.
I’m still staring at her belly when Willa slides her hand out from my grasp and tugs her shirt down.