Page 9 of Garnish with a Candy Cane
“Just you. Just my Duke from now on, right?”
“Yeah, just me from now on.”
“Yay! I like that.”
Holy shit.My Duke.
From the satisfied grin on his face, he must realize I recall our discussion now too. Less than an hour after we met, we committed ourselves to each other. Or at least him to me. According to our pact, he’s mine, and from the desire burning in his dark eyes, I think he wants me to be his.
I swallow hard, unable to form words that I’ve somehow agreed to a relationship with a dangerous mobster. Deals made when you’re drunk don’t count, right?
As if he can read my mind, can feel my hesitation, he steps closer and caresses my face. I don’t think I’m breathing when he tips down and nuzzles my ear, the scruff on his cheek tickling my blazing skin. “You’re mine Duchess.”
Unable to control the shudder that vibrates through me, I suck in oxygen deep and long before I pass out. All he does is kiss my temple before he leans back.
“I like the holiday vibe she’s got going on.”
I like that he’s serious. That he doesn’t make fun of her dementia. That he doesn’t complain about playing along. “Christmas has always been a big deal for our family. After she had her stroke, she didn’t realize the season ended. To her, it’s always December.”
“You’re a good granddaughter to go along with it.”
I try to squash my guilt from the truth stretched so thin I think I’ll snap from shame. Loathe to admit that I pretend for myself as much as I do for her. I want her to only remember how good things used to be. Before she got sick, and I ruined everything. Twisting away from the admiration on his face I don’t deserve, I tuck the blankets tighter around her fragile body and kiss her cold cheek. Even if she has no idea of my presence, the affection makes me feel better. Suspicion greets me when I turn around.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t ever lie to me.”
Shock floods my body that he knows. Heidi’s right that I should never play poker. My face gives everything away. “I’m not a good granddaughter.”
He frowns from my confession. “I don’t believe you.”
Normally, I would smile and move on. Smooth over the brewing argument. Brush off the uncomfortable conversation. Ignore the issue and feign everything is fine. For some reason, with Duke, I want him to know the truth – the reality of my world. Then he’ll leave and I can put this whirlwind behind me. Go back to working and taking care of Nana and keeping the feelings he stirs in me as a good memory to tuck away in my mind and enjoy on the bad days. “After her stroke, I tried to take care of her myself. I’d just graduated high school and was working and taking college classes. She fell one day when I was on campus, and the doctor in the emergency room reported me to the state for neglect since I left her unattended. She required around-the-clock care and I couldn’t afford that. So I just prayed and hoped everything would be okay. Obviously it wasn’t and that’s how she ended up here.”
“You were what, eighteen? I’m sure you did the best you could trying to juggle everything.”
I did do the best I could. I just wish it was enough. “She was terrified when they came to move her. So lost and confused. She begged me not to send her away and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I failed her.”
My eyes squeeze shut to keep the tears from falling but a sob burns in my throat anyway that I can’t contain. I guess I look as pitiful as I feel because suddenly his arms wrap around me and he tucks me to his chest. Funny thing for as big as he is he can also be so surprisingly gentle especially when he draws me to him and holds me tight. Caressing down my back, he doesn’t say a word. I can’t either and allow myself to enjoy the closeness. No one’s really held me with sincerity since her, and I realize how much I’ve missed having someone I connect with besides Heidi.
A memory flickers in the back of my mind from the familiar sensation. Maybe from last night. Contentment flushes through me from the realization. He held me for hours, and I could sense even in my dreams how safe I was. How safe I am now. He’s ridiculous but not necessarily in a bad way. I think. I really don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
“She seems happy now.”
For which I’m forever grateful. “She cried at first, but it helped when I brought in her decorations. I put up the tree and hung the stockings, and then we drank hot cocoa while we listened to carols every night that first week. That helped her settle in and now I guess she’s used to it.”
His lips press against my hair. “You really are amazing.”
I want to believe his murmur but the facts says otherwise. “If I was that amazing, she wouldn’t be stuck in a place she hates. We’d still be living together.”
A fierce grip pulls me closer in response to my voice cracking, and I can’t lie. I welcome the comfort. Uncertain where to go from here, I let him keep cuddling me.
“Come home with me. Let me take care of you.”
Okay, his husky voice confirms exactly where he wants me to go and what he wants me to do. “I can’t. I have to get to work. My shift starts at nine.”
“You work Saturdays?”
