16
Chapter Sixteen
Three WeeksLater
Shae’s matscrapes against the wooden slats of her deck as she presses her palms into the foamy material. Without needing to give it any thought, she glides from one pose to the next, seeking the release stretching her muscles usually provides. Yet, peace evades her mind as her pulse races through her tense body.
“Are you scared?” Carrie’s frown radiates through her voice without Shae needing to open her eyes and see her face.
“I’m terrified. That’s why we’re doing yoga.” She smiles at both her friend’s lack of focus, as well as the warmth on her face as she tilts her head upward. “Well, at least I am. You keep talking.”
“I know. I’m sorry, but I’m too nervous to clear my mind and become one with the earth, or whatever the hell we’re supposed to be doing.”
“It’s okay. But please talk about something else. I can’t think about it right now. I’m trying to calm myself down, and you’re freaking me out.”
The ensuing silence reflects Carrie’s struggle to think of something else to say. As much as she does. Anything but how in the next few minutes, they could receive an answer that will change their lives forever.
“Umm…” Carrie’s fingers tap on the iPod lying next to her. “Did I tell you we’re mentioned in the song Remington just released?”
“Again?”
“Yeah, something like ‘Shorties at the club all wanna be Shae, sexy girl home, with her friend Carrie,’ but he pronounces it Care-aye.”
Shae blinks against the brightness before focusing on her friend sitting cross-legged in front of her. “Well, I guess that kind of rhymes. And, thank you for not rapping it.”
“You’re welcome. You know you’re going to have to give in and record with him, or he’ll just keep doing it.”
“I’m not ready to go back into the studio. Of course, I’m the only one who feels that way. Team Shae is pushing for me to start recording again.”
If they knew the truth, they probably wouldn’t care, wouldn’t understand she’s not capable of doing anything more than existing right now. Night after night, insomnia jumbles with dreams of Nick coming back to her. All of her heartache eases in the darkness, only to wake and discover the harsh reality she’s still alone.
“Don’t do it. You know it won't be good if your heart isn’t in it. Look at what’s-her-face. Her last album was her last album, if you know what I mean.”
“Maybe if I land another movie, it’ll buy me some time.”
“Or maybe not.” Carrie rolls her eyes. She too knows the beast that is Team Shae. “By the way, I’m sorry about dinner tonight. I know you’re probably not in the mood to have to deal with Evan right now.”
Evan. Another painful reminder of her failures in making relationships last. But tonight isn’t about heartbreak. It’s about love. Carrie’s taken care of her for the last three weeks, and she deserves a carefree night to celebrate her engagement to Nathan, now that his brother’s finally home and their family is all together. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. It’s going to be great.”
“Yeah, but also kind of weird, in a way.” Carrie shrugs her shoulders, a flicker of uncertainty flashing in her eyes. “Having our families get together and make the final plans for the wedding makes it real. It seemed so far away, and now it’s almost here.”
“You’re not getting cold feet, are you?”
“No, not that. It’s just…now I’ll be a grown-up.”
She smiles at the thought of Carrie as a wife, maybe even a mother someday soon. How ironic their roles have reversed. In the past, her sensibility balanced out Carrie’s wildness. Now, Carrie’s the one settling down and building a family, and she’s blowing in the wind, needing her best friend to tether her down again. “Um, I think you already are.”
“You know what I mean. A married woman makes it official.”
“Nathan’s a good man. He’ll be the perfect husband, and you’ll be an okay wife.”
Carrie swats at her with a sweat towel. “Hey!”
“Just kidding. You’ll be a great wife. You guys are meant for each other.”
“Thanks.” Carrie runs her hands over her hair before putting one on top of the other. Her nervous tell gives away her plotting. “Maybe you need to think about it for yourself. Evan’s a good guy too. He still loves you.”
And there it is. Carrie’s probably bitten her tongue all this time, waiting for the right moment to bring it up. No one supports her being with Nick. Not even Nick himself, so it’s almost unanimous. “It’s too soon.” She takes a deep breath, trying to keep the lump in her throat from growing. “Besides, I still love Nick.”