Page 106 of Wine & Whiskey
15
Chapter Fifteen
Shae rolls over, blinking from the sunlight framing the edges of the blinds. A new day supposedly means a fresh start. Yet her old life beckons, even emptier than before. One without Jason and soon to be separated from Carrie and Nathan once they get married. Everyone moving on with the person they love. Everyone except her.
“Shae?”
Carrie’s whisper implies the possibility she might be asleep, that she hadn’t huddled in bed all night watching the minutes tick by in the darkness. Checking her phone a thousand times. Listening for his car outside. Praying it’s all a bad dream, yet realizing her nightmare occurs in real life.
She pulls the covers from her face and clears the frogginess from her throat. “Yes?”
“Do you want some breakfast? I made French toast.”
Shame fills the emptiness in her chest. While she hides, Carrie cooks her favorite breakfast, attempting to distract her from the pain. Yet, no amount of syrup and powdered sugar can lessen the heartbreak. “Thanks, but I’m not really hungry.”
“Are you sure? I can make something else if you want.”
“No, I’m good. Thanks anyway.”
“Okay.”
The door handle clicks shut, and she’s alone. A familiar feeling she thought she’d never experience again. Fooled by the intensity of Nick’s love, she let herself be lulled into believing they would always have each other. Now he’s gone, taking her new little family with him. Marta, Max, Jacks, all ripped out of her life by two simple words.
It’s over.
The hollowness of his face as he told her floats behind her closed eyelids. Damaged by his father more than she realized, he sacrifices his own happiness trying to ensure the cycle of abuse ends with him. Unwilling to accept the fact that the desire to inflict cruelty upon the woman he loves never existed in him to begin with.
“Shae?”
“Yes.”
“It’s beautiful outside. Do you want to go for a run?”
Usually the perfect remedy to clear her mind and ease her tension, a marathon couldn’t help her today. “Not right now. Maybe this afternoon.”
“It is afternoon.”
“Oh, okay. Maybe tomorrow.”
Carrie’s deep sigh fades down the hallway as she walks away. Her friend doesn’t deserve this, shouldn’t be burdened with having to worry over her. Yet she can’t force herself to get up and go after her. Nothing can be said to make either of them feel better.
Closing her eyes again, she imagines the feel of Nick’s arm around her waist, his lips on her shoulder. The tickle of his hair from nuzzling her neck as they cuddle. How with just one touch, his moan would vibrate in her ear, and he would slide off her negligee, making her laugh before stealing her breath as he made love to her. Tender yet insistent, his restrained passion always burning under the surface, yet forever gentle in his touch. Consuming her with his love, stirring her desire and answering her need. All the moments she took for granted, not knowing she would soon be back in her own bed without him.
She jostles slightly at the covers rustling next to her, but doesn’t open her eyes. The tart scent of green apple Jolly Ranchers drifts across the pillow. Carrie. “What are you doing?”
“Max is here. He wants to talk to you.”
Her heart constricts. Another friend caught in the middle. Another reminder of her loss. “I can’t. He’ll want to talk about…” She chokes back a sob, unable to say his name. “What happened.”
“We’re worried about you. Please get up.”
The tears she’s been fighting finally win and roll down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. It just hurts so much. I can’t do this. I don’t think I can take not being with him.”
Carrie curls around her, stroking her hair, just like Nick used to. “I know it seems that way now. But you’re stronger than you think. You got over Evan. You’re doing all right after your mom. You’ll be okay.”
“Why did he do this? He said he loved me.”
“He’s hurting just like you are. Max said he’s a mess and needs you.”
