Page 18 of Under the Influence
Now I’m pissed. For her to berate herself over giving herself to me. “You’re not weak. You’re honest. You want me, just like I want you.” Damp cheeks streak across the stubble on my jaw line from her rebuttal. “I fucked up. But somehow I’m going to figure out how to fixthis.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s too late now. This is just sex. Nothingelse.”
Like hell it is. My grip intensifies. Merciless in my force to keep her immobile and at attention. “It’s fucking everything, and I’ll be damned if you’re going to thinkotherwise.”
Small hands shove against my chest. Legs unwind from my waist. Trying to let me go physically. Because I know, as sure as hell as I’m standing here, emotionally she’s already gone. But I’m going to do everything in my fucking power to bring herback.
I allow her to slide down, cupping her wet face once her feet touch the floor. Fucking killing me that her eyes stay rooted to the ground too. “Please Books. Stop fighting me. Just fortonight.”
I’ve never fucking begged anyone for anything in my entire life. I’ve always just taken what I wanted. Laws or morals or feelings be damned. But this time my domination won’t work. Not with her. Not for this. I’ve got to earn back what I want. And, I’ve never wanted anyone more than I wanther.
Only the droop of her defeated shoulders provides me with an answer. Not much, but I’ll fucking take silence as approval. Reigning in my need as well as my impatience for her to forgive me and come back to us, I kiss her forehead. Chaste and calm. Not doing a damn thing that could spookher.
Entwining her thin fingers with mine, I guide her through the apartment. Not arguing with me as I lead her. Only hesitating when we step into the bedroom. But I keep walking. I’m not fucking her again tonight. Not yetanyway.
A shiver races through her when we reach the icy ceramic. Fearful she might change her mind and make another run for the door if I release her, I squeeze her hand while I bend to turn on the faucet and plug the drain. The claw foot tub her second favorite feature that made her rent in this pre-warbuilding.
Satin skin trembles under my touch when I stroke across her bare back and tug her zipper, grazing over her luscious hips as I glide down the silky fabric along with the cotton strings of her thong. Forcing myself to fucking check my anger from her wearing those panties for that bastard. And restrain my greedy cock from her standing naked and exposed with the shiny material pooled at herfeet.
I squat down, gently caressing her toned calf, and gingerly lift one foot at a time, with her fingers wrapped over my shoulders for balance. Reminding me she’s still tipsy, and I’m still anasshole.
Free of her clothes, she takes a small step back. Waiting for me to attack her. Or yank off my own trashed shirt and pants. But I do neither. This is for her. All her. Onlyher.
Surprise flickers in her gorgeous blue eyes when she finally meets mine. Watching as I roll up the sleeves of my previously crisp dress shirt to my elbows. Wondering about my ulterior motives. Questioning if she can trust me. Speculating if this is just anotheract.
I’ve got so fucking much to make up to her. “Getin.”
Her gaze never breaks as she accepts my outstretched hand and climbs into the steamy water. A throaty moan escapes her lips, jolting my already taut balls while she sinks down. Little waves lapping against her perfect rosy nipples as she leans back onto the towel I tuck against theporcelain.
Sure I’ve fucked in the shower before but I’ve never given anyone a bath. Never really taken care of someone. Including the one woman I genuinely love. I drop to my knees behind her. With as much gentleness as I can muster, I fill my cupped hands and let the warm liquid trickle over her head. Another deep groan echoes in the tiled room stirring up my ravenouscock.
A slight smile illuminates her face even with closed eyes while I tip her forward and massage shampoo into her hair. Filling the humid air with her intoxicating scent. The last fragrance I ever hope to smell before death claimsme.
The grin brightens even more while I rub her little white mesh ball, lathered with yellow body wash, over her arms, across her perky tits, and gently around her belly button ring. All the while focused on my work rather than my traitorous cock straining against my boxerbriefs.
I motion for her to stand, and she lifts in all her stunning glory. Tiny biceps flexing as she pushes herself up, so dangerously close to my throbbing body. Wet. Defenseless.Beautiful.
After sweeping down her legs, I glide between her thighs. Her delicate hand covers mine. Not sure if she’s protecting herself or helping me. Too scared of the answer, I don’t ask. Instead, we caress her smooth pussy lips together and then between her ass cheeks. Making her actually giggle that I help clean her most intimate area too. But if I’m doing this, I’m doing it right. Even stooping down to wash her dainty littlefeet.
Despite my precautions, I end up soaked when I softly spray her down with the nozzle. Rinsing away the soap and dirt. Hopefully her uncertainty about me follows down thedrain.
Now it’s her turn to shock the hell out of me when she tucks against me after I wrap a heavy towel around her. The only version of a hug she can manage with her arms trapped inside the lavender terrycloth.
“That was nice. Thankyou.”
Nice.
I need to be so much more than fucking nice. I’ve got to be fucking perfect. “You’rewelcome.”
“I’d like to brush my teeth.” She lifts from my chest and nods toward the vanity. A much more relaxed expression gracing her face. “But you can take a shower too…if youwant.”
Insecurity returns with a frown, and she suddenly jerks away, stepping over the thick side. Brushing past me and racing to the closet without looking back. But she doesn’t have to doubt my commitment. I’m here for the long haul. Well, that is until I move her into my place. Although that’s a discussion fortomorrow.
After ripping off my trashed clothes, I stride to the counter and yank open the drawer where I used to keep my shit. My heart swells like a fucking pussy ass bitch. Everything’s still there. All this time she never threw away my razor, toothbrush, or soap. I can’t help but smirk. Even better, she never moved in that bastard’s shit. I knew she couldn’t really lovehim.
Probably the fastest fucking shower I’ve ever taken. Savoring the buzzing from her spin brush on the other side of the curtain while I lather myself. Just like old times. Harmony and peace between us after I fucked her and we’d fall into bed exhausted but sated. Only to do it all again the nextmorning.
By the time I finish, she’s gone. The bathroom as empty as my unsettled gut. I can’t fool myself into thinking we’re back yet. A few hours can’t fix months of torture. I race through drying off and brushing my own teeth and head into the bedroom. But almost stumble over my own fucking feet when I see the unexpected paradise waiting forme.
