Page 85 of Property of Necro
I am no one.
I am nothing.
I deserve no one.
I deserve nothing.
Fuck.
Massaging the nape of my neck, I squeeze my eyes shut as an ache I hate with every fiber of my being churns in my gut. It’s ugly and new… and…
Fuck.
Every part of Sola bein’ here is thanks to Rot and that damn childish dream from long ago—to find a woman to fit us. Yet he never bothered to consider what’s best for her.
It’s not this life.
In this church.
Sequestered away.
I can’t even go out in the daylight, for fuck’s sake.
What kind of woman would want a man who can’t stand to be in the sun?
I’ve never dated.
Never loved.
Never kissed.
Never ate pussy or ass.
Never sucked tits.
Never held anyone’s hand.
No one has ever hugged me, and my brothers know better than to ever touch me.
I wasn’t born for that.
I was born not to feel.
I was born to kill.
Massaging the tense wrinkles on my forehead, my jaw clenches as everyone around me carries on as if I’m not waging an internal war between what’s right and what a small part of me wants. My gut clenches in pain, and I damn near throw up when I look over at Sola, smiling and joking around with my brothers. This is not the life for her. Her light shines bright. I don’t ever wanna see it dimmed by our fucked-up mess—by me. She deserves a normal man with a normal job. They’ll live in a normal house, in a normal town. Maybe they’ll get a cat or a dog. Or maybe just a pretty goldfish she’ll smile at every day when she sprinkles little flakes of food in the tank. The fish won’t know how fucking lucky it is to swim around her all day and watch her through the glass, since it’s a fucking goldfish. But I’ll know, and that’s good enough. She’ll have a king-sized bed with a million big, fluffy pillows to sleep on and whatever other shit women love.She won’t live in a room next to a man who sleeps in a casket because he sleepwalks and almost killed Rot because of it—a man who, deep down, is terrified he might accidentally do the same to her.
Dropping my chin to my chest, I blow out a harsh breath and hop off the dresser. I grab my phone out of my casket, where I last left it, and I text Dark before I chicken out.
Get your ass here and pick up Sola before I come to my senses and change my mind.
There, it’s done.
Ten years from now, I hope she’ll thank me when she’s living in a nice house with her nice, normal husband, who doesn’t get hard when he slices a man’s throat open.
IfI live long enough to see that.
If not… It’ll still be worth it.
