Page 58 of Destined to the Lycan
She chuckled and rubbed her nose against mine. “Sorry, Lycan then. But honestly, right now, you look more like a werewolf than a Lycan. You can’t shift back?”
I shook my head. “No, not while knotted. I have to wait until it deflates. I hope you’re not too freaked out about my current appearance,” I added carefully.
She smiled and caressed my cheek. “Nah, you look a lot more intimidating but in a good way. If I didn’t clearly recognize you, it would be different. But these are still your features, my Remus, with just more lupine traits.”
The extent of the relief I felt upon hearing those words stunned me. It embarrassed me how much reassurance I constantly needed from my woman.
“Right,” I said.
Amara tilted her head to the side, giving me an assessing look. “Can you control your knot? Like could you prevent it from swelling or deflate it at will?”
I shook my head again. “Its responses are pretty much instinctual. I can ‘try’ to hold it back, but it’s pretty much a losing battle. Essentially, my only ‘control’ over it is stopping myself from ejaculating. The minute I do, the knot kicks in. However, I have absolutely no control over when it deflates. Sometimes, it’s faster than other times. Your guess is as good as mine as to why.”
“I see,” Amara said pensively, a frown creasing her brow. “But what if we’d just finished getting naughty and a threat showed up? We’d both be sitting ducks.”
I gave her an indulgent smile. “While I still wouldn’t have any control over my knot in such a situation, my self-preservation instincts would kick in and my knot would deflate on its own. It’s the only case where it will release our mate before our wolf deems it has done its purpose.”
“Its purpose meaning increasing the chances the female will have successfully been impregnated?” she asked, her face unreadable.
I flinched, and my stomach instantly knotted with apprehension. My whole life, I dreamt of having a mate andmany pups. Memories of some of the males from the pack sleeping with half a dozen pups dogpiling them haunted me to this day, eliciting a dull ache of longing.
Does she not want kids?
“Yes,” I replied carefully, my eyes flicking between hers, searching. “You don’t have to worry about getting pregnant, though. The poison currently coursing through your veins makes it impossible.”
“I see,” Amara replied with that same neutral expression.
“I know we haven’t talked about it yet, but do you want to have children?” I asked hesitantly.
An immense wave of relief washed over me when she immediately nodded.
“Definitely. I would like at least two or three. Being an only child sucks,” my mate said firmly. “What about you?”
The stupid grin that stretched my lips—which had to be rather scary in my partially shifted form—gave her the answer before I even spoke.
“As a wolf, I would want at least half a dozen pups,” I said sheepishly.
She burst out laughing and gave me a look as if I was insane. However, I also noticed that she had not shut down that idea.”
“So once I’m healed, we’ll be able to have kids?”
I hesitated then shook my head. “We need to be bonded before you can bear my children. As a pureblood human, you are not compatible with me on that front. The mate bond will enable you to conceive and carry a Lycan baby.”
“How does the bond work?”
The absence of fear or unease when she asked the question pleased me tremendously.
“The day you’re willing to link your life to me permanently, I will give you the bonding bite. We usually do it right here nearthe shoulder,” I said, caressing the spot a few inches from her neck on her right shoulder.
“Will I change?” Amara asked with a slight frown.
I wouldn’t say that her reaction expressed worry. However, besides her obvious curiosity about the process and consequences, it struck me that she had likely never considered the possibility that mating with a Lycan might bring radical changes to who she was.
Once more I hesitated. “You won’t change externally,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “But you will be enhanced with greater strength, increase dspeed, and heightened regeneration when injured or tired. You will also undergo some minor anatomical changes, especially in the reproductive department. Your glands will produce specific hormones needed for the growth of a healthy pup, and the inner lining of your uterus will thicken and grow more resistant to keep you safe from possible clawing from the little ones as they near the end of gestation.”
“Oh wow!” Amara said, seemingly awed. “But does that also mean I will have an increased chance of a multiple pregnancy?”
Again, the apologetic look on my face said it all.
